There's Plenty of Time to Get Life Figured Out

My five year-old grandson recently announced to his mother, “I don’t have life all figured out, but I’m just five, so that’s okay.” 

I couldn’t agree more. No five year-old should have to feel they need to have life all figured out. For that matter, no child, regardless of their age, should be made to feel like they should have all the answers. In fact, just the opposite is true. As parents you need to do all you can to ensure your child is given their full childhood. Don’t force or allow them to grow up too quickly. 

*Don’t allow them to be exposed to grown-up problems, situations, and conversations. 

*Don’t allow them to watch or listen to television, movies, or music about people or situations older than they are—unless it is family-friendly.

*Don’t allow them to have a social network account until they are at least thirteen. *Don’t let them dress like mini-teens or adults. That includes makeup and jewelry, too.

*Don’t allow them to watch ‘reality’ television shows that promote growing up too quickly (pageants, teen parenthood, etc.).

*Don’t give your children too much privacy or too much freedom. We all need alone time and time to think and act independently, but the more time your children spend alone the more time they have to seek out role models and mentorship from someone besides you. 

Please don’t take this as an endorsement or ‘permission’ to be over-protective or to baby your children. This isn’t my intention in the least! Children need to be given age-appropriate responsibilities. They need to be taught and encouraged to be independent thinkers. But these things should be taught—not expected. 

Parents should never expect their child to pinch-hit as an adult. It’s not fair. It’s not healthy. And it’s not good parenting. So remember to keep the words to this Billy Dean song in your heart and in your mind; making them part of your parenting ‘plan’….

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

Love,

Momma D
                                            Copyright 2017 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author. 

                                                                              

  

Please Pass the Memories...Part Three

A couple of months ago I started this ‘series’ of blog posts on passing down your family’s memories by reminding you of the importance of telling your children stories about their grandparents and about your childhood. Part two was about giving back your children mementos of their childhood by creating ‘keep forever’ boxes. Today in part three I want to talk about the importance of family traditions.

I can almost hear some of you groaning thinking about some of the things your parents insisted upon during your growing up years. In fact, you still aren’t sure you’ve fully recovered from the disappointment of missing your friend’s Memorial Day party when you were in the eighth grade because it was your family’s tradition to visit the graves of people you never knew and then end the day at your grandparents’ house making homemade ice cream. You vowed that day (in between bites of ice cream) that you would never make your kids suffer like you had to. Family traditions? They wouldn’t even know the meaning of the phrase! 

If that pretty much describes your thoughts on the matter, I want to encourage you to reconsider and even go so far as to change your mind on the matter. And here’s why…

Family traditions create strong family bonds. Family traditions give us (both children and adults) a greater sense of security and stability. Children from families with a few traditions are also found to be more confident, resilient, and more socially adept than children from families where traditions are nonexistent. 

I didn’t need reports to tell me these things, though, and I can vouch for the validity of their claims because …

·         Seven-up® floats with potato chips and dip during Gun Smoke

·         Going to Grandma and Grandpa Widener’s on Sunday afternoon

·         Family reunion…third Saturday of July (now September)…no matter what

·         Grandma Noble’s Christmas stocking hunt with goofy poems for clues

·         Zach’s angel at the top of the Christmas tree…forever

·         The birthday boy or girl gets to choose just about everything for that day

·         Linda’s trick-or-treat bags and Christmas decorations

·         Cornbread with beans because you can’t have one without the other

·         Deer camp 

So go ahead—hold your head up high and start (or carry on) a few family traditions. But remember: bling and ‘wow effect’ aren’t what make a tradition special or meaningful. Permanence and a sense of connection are what make a tradition special. Some of the best traditions are simple, quiet things—like Seven-up floats, sitting around the fire at deer camp, or a dilapidated paper angel perched on top of a Christmas tree. 

Don’t worry if your kids don’t seem to appreciate or even notice your family’s traditions. They might not seem to be important to them now, but trust me; the day will come when they will be glad and thankful for them.

Love,

Momma D

                                         Copyright 2017 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.