Monday, April 30, 2018

A Girl + Her Hamster = Sweetest Story Ever

WARNING: The story you are about to read is most likely the sweetest story ever. If it’s not, email me at darlajnoble@yahoo.com or find me on Facebook @ dnoblewrites and let me know what is (sweeter).

Okay, now for the story…

My daughter Elizabeth walked into the kitchen the other day to find five year-old Laney on the floor, with a pencil in her hand, a piece of paper on the floor in front of her, and her hamster, Paddington, standing in the middle of the paper…just standing there while Laney traced around his tiny little feet with her pencil.

“What are you doing, Laney?” Elizabeth asked.
“I’m tracing Paddington’s footprints so that someday when he gets old and dies I’ll have a memory of him,” Laney answered, as if a hamster standing perfectly still on a piece of paper getting his paws traced was the most natural thing in the world.

Elizabeth didn’t really know what to say, so after she wiped the oh-my-gosh-that's-the-sweetest-thing-I’ve-ever-heard tears from her eyes, she said something like, “Oh, that’s sweet,” or “You’re right, that will make a special memory.”
I mean seriously, what do you say to something like that?

I may not know what the exact right thing to say is, but I know what you should do with moments like that.
You go with it. You appreciate what they consider worthy of tucking away in their heart to remember now and forever. And you never, ever laugh, make light of the situation, or tell them what they are doing is silly or dumb. Just because something isn’t important to you doesn’t mean it isn’t. Remember: dismissing your child’s feelings and giving them the impression that they aren’t important will stomp your child’s self-confidence in the dirt; making them afraid to share with you, to express their thoughts, or acknowledge their feelings (even to themselves).

Instead, make sure your words and actions send a message loud and clear that what matters to them matters to you…that what makes their heart happy (or sad), makes yours the same…and that your most precious memories come from watching them make theirs.

Love,
Momma D
                                     Copyright 2018 Darla Noble. No part of this can be copied or used without permission from the author. 

                                         



Saturday, April 7, 2018

The Day The Goldfish Was Stuck To The Floor


Once upon a time my daughter Emma had a fish. His name was George Jefferson. One morning as soon as my daughter in-law had dropped two year-old Mackenzie off at the house for the day, she walked into the living room to see “Mr. Jeff” (as she called him) swimming around in his bowl. Instead of her usual comments, however, I heard, “Nanna, why is Mr. Jeff on the floor?” 
Without bothering to go into the living room I answered, “He’s not. He’s in his bowl.” 
“He’s on the floor, Nanna,” Mack insisted. 
Just about that time she heard Emma coming downstairs from her room. “Emma, Mr. Jeff is on the floor,” Mack said, running toward her. 
I decided I’d better go see what Mack was talking about, so I walked into the living room and yep, sure enough, there was Mr. Jeff. He was literally stuck to the wood floor. Dead…graveyard dead. Apparently in the night he had jumped out of his bowl thinking there was more to life than swimming around and around and around. There wasn’t…not for him anyway. 
Emma came into the room about the same time I did. She didn’t have but a couple of minutes before she had to walk out the door to wait for the school bus, so she picked up Mr. Jeff, said something to the effect of ‘stupid fish’, walked into the bathroom, and flushed him down the toilet while Mack looked on wide-eyed and open-mouthed. 
I answered all of her two year-old questions, but from that day on (until we moved out of that house a year later) Mack wouldn’t use that bathroom. At all—not even to wash her hands. And a few years later when “Finding Nemo” came out, she talked about Mr. Jeff during the ‘escape scene’ in the dentist’s office. I think it’s safe to say Mr. Jeff left quite the impression. 
Mack is nine now, but she still remembers finding Mr. Jeff on the floor. She even sees the humor in it now. She’s a farm girl, so it’s not like she hasn’t experienced life and death, but that her first up-close-and-personal experience, so yah, she’s going to remember it. 
The point I want to make is that as parents you need to make sure you aren’t giving your kids credit for being more resilient than they really are. Yes, in this instance it was just a goldfish—and not a very smart one, at that. But with everything going on in the world today; school shootings, racial tensions, terrorism, political and religious discriminations, bullying, and oh, so many other things, parents should not…cannot assume answering a few questions is all it takes to set their hearts and minds at ease. To make them feel safe. To make them feel confident. To help them understand their thoughts and feelings. 
Be pro-active. Talk. Listen. And most importantly, be discerning in what you expose your kids to. Keep it age-appropriate, please.

Love,
Momma D
                                         Copyright 2018 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.