Red Rover Should Just Be A Game...Not A Lifestyle

Do you remember playing the game, Red Rover when you were a kid? I do. But I have to be honest—I didn’t like it very much. I didn’t like it because I was always the scrawny little kid that couldn’t break through the line. Instead, I usually ended up being clotheslined and knocked to the ground. Yah, that’s my idea of fun…not.

I’m not really sure why thoughts and memories of playing Red Rover came to mind the other day, but I do know they ended up being about more than just a silly kid’s game. As I thought about not being able to break the line no matter how hard I tried, I thought about how sometimes a child’s life ends up resembling a game of Red Rover.

No matter how hard they try to overcome an obstacle, fit in with their peers, or (worst of all) win their parents’ love and attention, it just doesn’t happen. No matter what they do it’s never enough. No matter how hard they try, someone else comes out ahead of them. No matter what they say or do, they go unseen and unheard. In other words, no matter how much energy and effort they put into being noticed and accepted, they can’t break through the barriers society shoves in front of them, the hate, ignorance, fear, or pride, in order to be seen for the amazing people they are.

How sad is that? Pretty darn sad!

Parents, you need to remember that life is not a game and your children are not playing pieces. You need to understand that a child can only take so many ‘clothesline hits’ before they stop trying and start settling for far less than they deserve. And once the ‘disease’ of settling takes root in their heart, it’s hard to get rid of it. Anxiety, depression, anger issues, eating disorders, self-destructive behaviors, poor self-respect…you name it, there’s a good chance it will happen, because these kids don’t think they deserve anything better. They think it’s their lot in life to get knocked down.

Don’t let this happen to your children. Don’t let one day go by without making sure they know your arms aren’t blocking them or shoving them out of the way. Make sure your children know your arms are always open to hug them, protect them, and guide them in whatever direction they need to go to be their best self. And when life does knock them down (because it will from time to time), make sure they know your arms are extended to pick them up and help them get back on their feet.

Love,

Momma D

                  Copyright 2018 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author. 

                                                                                    

Sometimes They Did...Sometimes They Didn't...But They 'Somehow' Always Managed To Thrive

Can you smell it? You know…the smell of new crayons, glue sticks, new tennis shoes, and unsharpened pencils. Oh, the days of shopping for school supplies.

With four kids it was quite an undertaking and let’s just say Wal-Mart was glad to see me coming. But I didn’t mind. In fact I had as much fun watching and helping them pick out what they needed and wanted (within reason) as they did. There’s just something about starting something new that gives you energy and hope.

The kids hoped they got certain teachers. Sometimes they did…and sometimes they didn’t.

The kids hoped they were in the same homeroom as their best friends. Sometimes they were…and sometimes they weren’t.

They kids hoped they got the same lunch period as most of their friends. Sometimes they did…and sometimes they didn’t.

The kids hoped their school ID pictures would look halfway decent instead of like a mug shot. Sometimes they did…and sometimes, well, you know the drill.

With each new school year came both excitement and disappointments. But then life is like that, isn’t it? Besides, it’s really not the end of the world if they don't always get the teacher they wanted. They’re still going to learn what they are supposed to learn. And guess what? The world really won't stop turning if your child isn’t in the same homeroom or lunch period as their best friend—I promise. The ID pictures? Sorry, no guarantee on that one, either. Think about it--is there anyone who can take a good picture when you have all of ten seconds to step into place and say ‘cheese’ before the weird guy behind the camera takes one shot and hollers “Next!”?

As parents we know these things aren’t worth stressing over, but our kids don’t—not yet anyway. But that’s where you come in. It’s your job to teach them to take things as they come—to instill in your children a sense of resiliency.

Children who are resilient have better social skills, have a stronger sense of self-confidence, are less likely to be bullied or to be a bully. They also have stronger coping skills when it comes to dealing with things that really are a struggle or disappointment. What’s more, studies show that resilient children turn into resilient adults.

So…as the new school year approaches, don’t feel bad about telling your child they have to choose a $15 dollar back pack instead of a $50 one. And don’t let them whine and moan because they have first lunch period instead of third like ‘everyone’ else does. They’ll get over it…and be better people for it.

Love,

Momma D