In addition to sharing my Momma D advice and encouragement
with you each month I've also been privileged to do the same for parents in Australia and the Philippines. I know--it’s crazy, isn’t it? A gal from Mid-Missouri giving advice to parents in three continents. Go figure!
Anyway…several months ago the magazine in Australia asked me to write an article on “Parenting
MBA”—MBA being short for Minimal Behavior
Accepted. The purpose of the article, I was told, was to motivate parents
to decide what their ‘threshold of pain’ was in regards to how much they
were willing to let slide before saying ‘enough is enough’.
As I thought about
the angle the magazine's editor suggested I take, something both Granny and her mom (my great-grandma) always said kept running through my mind….
“If you don’t do it right the first time you will have the
privilege of doing it again.”
There’s nothing minimal or MBA about that, is there? Neither Grandma nor Granny was satisfied with anyone doing just enough to get by.
I don’t remember it being enough for my mom either, and I know it wasn’t enough
for John and me when we were raising our kids. And you want to know something?I’m glad for it.
Taking a minimal standards approach to parenting is damaging to your child's self-confidence and self-respect. Instead of sending the message that says you have confidence in their ability to do AND to learn, you are saying:
*I won’t expect too much because I don’t think you are
capable of giving it.
*I won’t expect too much because it doesn’t really matter.
On top of that, you are encouraging your child to be lazy,
irresponsible, selfish, and disrespectful of authority. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true...sadly true and sadly evident in our society.
Social media is flooded with posts and tweets about ‘the
good ‘ole days’ and ‘remember when’s’ that speak of a time when respect, hard
work, self-sufficiency, and other solid character traits were the norm rather
than the exception they seem to be today. But if you really do long for that type
of society and lifestyle again, then you need to do something about it—something like raising the bar and setting
higher expectations for your children than just minimal standards of behavior.
I’m thankful I was expected to do things right--or do them
over. I’m also not apologizing for having expected the same from my kids. What's more, I'm sure they wouldn’t want me to. Children need to know you believe
they are capable of more than doing just enough to get by. Their confidence to be a be a productive and successful child and adult depends on it. So instead of settling
for the least they can give, help them discover how much they have to offer.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2019 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
