Letting Their Laughs Out

Picture it—it’s Christmas Eve, and Essie and JoJo are sharing a pullout bed in the cabin in the mountains where they are spending Christmas with Daddy and Mommy. The girls are almost 3 and 5—the perfect age for being giddy with anticipation and excitement over Santa’s visit sometime in the night.

The giggles and half-whispers are almost non-stop, so Emma finally intervenes with a firm but gentle, “Okay, girls, it’s time to settle down now and be quiet so you can go to sleep. Remember—Santa doesn’t come unless we’re asleep.”

Essie’s response is this: “Okay Mom, but when our laughs start coming out, we just can’t stop them.” This of course, was followed by more giggling from both her and JoJo...with Emma and Dwight smothering plenty of their own.

Okay, first of all, how do you argue with reasoning like that? On Christmas Eve, no less?

Secondly, we all need to take a lesson from these two. We need to raise our children in an atmosphere that fosters laughter. Our goal needs to be making sure their lives are such that smiles and laughter come often and easily.

There is plenty in this world that isn’t smile-worthy, but your kids don’t need to know that. Not now. Not yet. Teach them stranger danger? Sure, but that doesn’t mean they have to know all the dangers that are out there. Guard their access to the internet? You bet, but you can do it by emphasizing the good instead of the bad. Set boundaries and rules? Absolutely! But don’t smother and hover to the point of crippling them.

What I’m trying to say is that you need to teach them to recognize the bad but focus on and cling to the good. Fill their lives with as much good as possible and don’t ever admonish them for finding and embracing the joy to be had in life. Don’t ever discourage their laughter…except maybe on Christmas Eve so ‘Santa’ can come...and then get some sleep before morning comes.

Love,

Momma D

                          Copyright Darla Noble 2019. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author. 

                                                                 

The 'Real' Santa Knows What Really Matters

Hello! 

After taking several months off to regroup and apply some of my own advice to my life as a mom whose children are no longer children, I'm back. And it's good to be back. Starting in January, I'll be sharing some of what I've learned from other moms like me, through reading, praying, and observing others. 

But because it's Christmas, I want to spend take the opportunity to share some special Christmas thoughts and experiences I've had over the years that will hopefully remind all of us what and who Christmas is really all about. So without further ado...

For several years I had the esteemed honor of taking Mackenzie and Macy to see Santa…the real Santa. Seriously—this guy is the real deal right down to the long white beard and a kind, gentle smile and personality.

The first year Mackenzie was really able to comprehend the whole concept of Santa, though, she said something while we were waiting in line, that reminded me just how important it is we don't cause Santa to give our little ones a false sense of insecurity.

What did she say that led me to think this? Mackenzie said, “Nanna, he’s going to ask Macy and I if we’ve been good, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I said, “he is. And when he does, you can both tell him you are very good girls because you are two of the best girls in the whole entire world.”

She listened to what I said, smiled and her sweet, sweet smile with a look of relief in her eyes, hugged my leg and turned her attention back to the displays and activities meant to keep the kids occupied while they waited to meet Santa.

Mackenzie’s question wasn’t asked with a great deal of anxiety or dread, but it bothers me that we (we, meaning society in general) have placed the thought in our children’s minds that Santa’s goodness and generosity is performance based. We’ve demoted Santa from the giver of love and good cheer to one who rewards only the ‘good’.

How sad is that! What’s more, if a little child is worried about what a stranger in a red suit and beard thinks of them, what do you think goes through their heads and hearts when you make them feel like they’ve disappointed you and let you down? What impression are you leaving in their tender little hearts and impressionable little minds when you give the impression that your love and respect have to be earned?

Our children don’t ask to be born. We make that decision for them. So the very least we can do is to let them know they don’t have to earn our love any more than they should have to be good in order to have a present or two under the tree on Christmas morning.

Our wait to see Santa was relatively short and both girls climbed up in his lap ready to tell him what they wanted. And you know what? Santa didn’t ask if they’d been good. Instead, he smiled at the girls and said, “I can see you are both very sweet (not good) little girls, so tell me what you’d like for Christmas.”

See, I told you he was the real deal.

Merry Christmas,

Momma D

                                         Copyright 2019 Darla Noble. No part of this can be copied or used without permission from the author.