Have you ever taken a bite of pizza right out of the oven? You know it’s too hot and that the cheese just might burn the ‘roof’ of your mouth, but you do it anyway. Or maybe you’ve spent the day riding rides at the amusement park with your grandkids. You know you’re going to pay for it the next day in aches and pains in places you didn’t even know you had. But you do it anyway because you aren’t about to pass up the opportunity to make all those memories!
I guess you could say that those are examples of what it means when we say, “No pain…no gain.”. But what about those times…those circumstances which are beyond our control, or those when we experience pain but there is no gain?
I’ve been around a while. I am fully aware of the difference between responses and reactions. I am equally aware that it’s up to each individual to choose between the two. No one can make that choice for us, nor can we justifiably blame someone for which one we choose to embrace. Nor can anyone force us to choose one over the other. But regardless of which way we go, when someone we love breaks our heart, it hurts.
That’s right. It hurts when someone you’ve invested so much of yourself in severs the relationship. It hurts when you know you’ve done everything you can to make things right, but they are still turned every which way but right. It hurts when you do what you know in your heart needs to be done when you are handling situations the way God would have you to–but it drives the wedge deeper. So what do you do when that happens? What do you do when you respond because it’s the right thing to do, but everything inside you wants to react?
Let me begin my answer by telling you what NOT to do. Don’t rely on your emotions to develop a gameplan. Don’t forget the road runs both directions, because you are no more to blame for someone else’s choices than they are for yours. And last but not least, don’t feel guilty or weak for hurting.
Let me repeat that last one. Even if everything you do is a response, don’t feel guilty for hurting, because knowing (and doing) the right thing doesn’t make it hurt any less.
So, back to that original question of what to do? Grab hold of the truth and don’t let go, that’s what!
Don’t let go of the truth that it hurts. Don’t let go of the truth that people–oftentimes the people you love the most–are going to hurt you (and you, them). Don’t let go of the truth that heartaches and hurts don’t go away overnight or just because you want them to. Don’t let go of the truth that your hurts can heal if you pretend they aren’t there. Don’t let go of the truth that you are not to blame for someone else’s actions, choices, and words (just like they aren’t responsible for yours). Don’t let go of the truth that it’s more than okay to let someone know they’ve hurt you. Just be sure to do it in a way you would want someone to let you know that you’ve hurt them. Don’t let go of the truth that response is always better and wiser than reacting–no exceptions. Don’t let go of the truth that there will be times when healing requires moving forward without the other person/people.
And most importantly, don’t let go of the truth that you cannot do any of these things on your own. Not completely, anyway. The human heart and psyche isn’t capable of that. That’s why total and complete healing happens only when you…when I…when we give our hurts and everything attached to them to God.
God created us. Every tiny piece of us. So it’s only natural and reasonable that he knows best. That he knows how we ‘work’ and how to put us back together again. And that he cares about us bigger, deeper, and stronger than we care about ourselves.
Knowing something is gonna hurt doesn’t make it hurt any less. Knowing God doesn’t even make it hurt any less. BUT knowing God does make it possible for the hurt to be healed and for us to learn, grow, and become more like Jesus–the one suffered the ultimate pain so we wouldn’t have to.
I know these things are true. I know because I’ve lived it. I’m living it now. But don’t just take my word for it. Believe it because of what the Bible, which is God’s Word, says.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.~Psalm 34:18
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:`10
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7
Colossians 4:6,
Darla, aka, Momma D
Who am I?
I’m Darla Noble—Author, Speaker, and Ghostwriter with over thirty years of experience. I am known for being a great storyteller, but not merely for the sake of telling a story. The stories I tell are a) true and b) they always have a takeaway, i.e., a life lesson meant to help you be a better version of yourself.
I’m Darla Noble—wife, mom, nanna, and a little ‘oldish’ lady who loves Jesus, her family, playing in the dirt, walking…walking…and more walking, riding bikes, eating popcorn, roast beef, Mexican food, reading, and watching old sitcoms.
What do I write?
Inspirational nonfiction—Christian devotionals, books that spark the creativity in every mom and nanna’s heart, and one that breathes new life into the art of being a good neighbor and reminds you of why it matters.
Historical nonfiction—WWII and family memoirs.
Character Education & Family Fun—Books that use science and scripture to teach positive character, scavenger hunts of all kinds that are both educational and FUN, and write-in journals for tweens and teens.
What do I say and who do I say it to?
*WWII hands-on display and presentation based on “All My Love, George…Letters from a WWII Hero”. The presentation consists of brief reading from the book, an interactive time of Q&A, and time for participants to view and examine a variety of WWII memorabilia including George’s original letters and medals.
*Keepsake In The Making Classes, using the book, “Please Pass the Memories” as inspiration, the class consists of exploring and brainstorming fun, creative, and interesting ways we can use your family’s keepsakes, recipes, photos, stories, and even traditions (YIKES) to bring past, present, and future generations of your family together. Everyone needs and wants to have a sense of who and where they come from, and the Keepsake In The Making Class is the perfect way to do just that!
*Women’s ministry events/conferences/retreats. I offer several programs that are easily adaptable to fit your needs and timeframe. Workshops for each one are optional. Programs offered include: “Jesus and Zinnias Make Me Smile”, “Deuteronomy 6 Parenting”, “Please Pass the Memories:, “Love, Momma D; Getting to the Heart of Parenting From the Heart”, and “Sippin’ Tea With Jesus”. NOTE: I am also happy to speak on a topic/subject matter of your choosing.
*The Nanna Subscription—an easy, but oh, so fun mini-class which equips Nanna, Gma, Granny, Mama, Mimi, or whatever name your grandkids have for you, with EVERYTHING you need to engage and connect with your grandkids on a regular basis. No matter how young or old they are, no matter how many miles separate you, no matter how many grandkids you have, no matter…anything!
*Brighten the Corner Where You Are” is my newest book as well as the focus of an event I offer to individuals, community chambers of commerce, neighborhood organizations, HOAs (Home Owner Association), church groups, and anyone else interested in reviving the art of being a genuine friend and neighbor. Participants will discover (or rediscover) the value of kindness among neighbors, and of having a small circle of people you can count on and who can count on you…no matter what.
*Fun with science and a few illusions, “The Sneaky Banana Lesson (plus 26 more)” is a character education program for ages 5 to 15. This event is engaging, interactive, and overflows with life lessons young people relate to and that will make them want to be a little better and stand a little taller.
*If you don’t think it’s possible to have fun teaching math, science, verbal skills, ordering, rational thinking, and grammar, social skills, and team building, think again! “The Medium-Sized Book of Scavenger Hunts” event gets kids up and about, inside and out, talking and listening, and learning on the sly. This event is fun for classrooms, parties, family events, social gathers, team building, and lots more. Or if you want to make every day extra-special, check out my newest book, "Every Day is Today...." -a book full of special days and ideas on how to celebrate them.
Fees for events vary. For more information, questions, or to book an event, CONTACT ME at dnoblewrites@yahoo.com, on Linkedin (Darla Noble), or on Facebook (Darla Noble).
Where can you find me?
My books are available worldwide via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or directly from me when you email me at dnoblewrites@yahoo.com. You can also request any title from your favorite brick and mortar bookstore.