Don't Worry, Your Kids Aren't Nearly As Breakable As You Think They Are

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would share with you some of the most important lessons I have learned in the 32 years I’ve been a mom.

No matter how many children you have, you love each one with your entire being.

No two children are alike, and that’s just fine.

Your older children will torment the baby of the family when left in charge of her.

Pretending wadded-up pieces of tissue are popcorn is not a life-threatening occurrence.

A six year-old boy has his limits when it comes to riding on a school bus with a substitute drive and will take matters into his own hand when he reaches that limit.

Fingers really do get stuck in VCR players.

It’s better for your almost-two year-old to suck on a pacifier than a Happy Meal toy.

Ponies can climb stairs with your children on their back without breaking them (your children, that is).

Your daughter can be a ballerina AND a farm girl at the same time.

Seeing your son cross the finish line in a Cross Country meet makes you very proud and very humble.

Pet turtles have feelings, too.

Watching The Sound of Music with your pre-teens can have embarrassing after-effects.

It’s a big sister’s responsibility to start her baby sister’s milk shake up the straw—no really, it is.

Making memories with your kids is a priceless treasure.

You should never, ever, ever give up on your kids because they’re worth it.

Giving your children over to the LORD is the most important and valuable thing you will ever do for your kids.

One of the greatest joys a mom can have (and I speak from experience) is catching their children in the act of being loving, caring, and wise parents.

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Momma D

                    Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.

                                                                      

Why, Why, Why, Where, and How...and Why Again

Laney and Reuben are both two, and as most two year-olds do, they like to ask “why?”…a LOT! And it doesn’t bother me one little bit. Asking why is just one of those things that go with being two. They don’t ask to be obnoxious. They ask because they are curious and eager to know why things are the way they are.

Once they ‘know’ the why of everything comes the seemingly endless barrage of:

1. How does ‘it’ work/happen?
2. Where does _________ come from?

I’ll never forget the day I was going through the produce section of a grocery store and heard a little girl who looked to be three or four, ask her mom where broccoli came from. The mom looked at the little girl as if she had just asked the most ridiculous question in the world and disgustedly said, “I don’t know! It comes from….from…broccoli. Who cares?”

My heart broke for the little girl when I saw the sad and confused look on her face. She just wanted to know. What was so bad about that?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Children are curious by nature. It’s how they learn. They’re supposed to be curious—it’s their job to be curious. And as a parent it’s YOUR job to satisfy their curiosity. It’s your job to answer their questions or to help them find answers to the questions you can’t answer. If you don’t know where broccoli comes from, don’t belittle your child for asking, or ignore them. Tell them you don’t know and find the answer together.

Parenting your children should be your number one priority, but it isn’t something you have to do all alone—even if you are a single parent. Reach out to family and trusted friends to help you provide answers to questions you can’t answer, or look up the answer in a book…the kind with real pages, instead of automatically falling back on the latest tech gadget and a voice named Siri. In doing so, you are instilling in your child a desire to learn. You are also showing your child it is okay to not always take the easy way out.

Whatever you do, though, don’t stop answering because if you do, they’ll stop asking you and find someone else who will (answer, that is).

Love,

Momma D
                      Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.

                                                                                                              

       When you don't have the answers to your child's questions, help them find someone who does.

Training Wheels Not Necessary

Our son, Zach, was three the first time he became a big brother. When John told him he had a baby sister, he was excited, but then said he thought that all big brothers needed a bicycle instead of his tricycle.


So the day after we brought Elizabeth home, John went to town and came home with a little blue bicycle for Zach. He was elated…except for one thing…that bike had training wheels and (in Zach’s words) big brothers didn’t use training wheels.

You can probably guess what happened next. The training wheels were removed from the bicycle. We figured Zach would either be able to ride without them or would soon figure out he needed them. John and I were sure the training wheels would be going back on, but we couldn’t have been more wrong. In less than an hour, three year-old Zach was riding that little blue bike around the yard like he’d been doing it for years.

I’m so glad we gave Zach the opportunity to try. If we would have refused him; telling him he wasn’t ready to ride without the training wheels or that he couldn’t do it, we would have been stifling his self-confidence and his ability to do what he knew in his heart he could do.

What about you? Do you hold your children back from trying new things? Do you deny them opportunities to grow their confidence and self-esteem because you don’t think they’re ready or capable?

So what if they don’t succeed? At least they will have tried. At least they won’t have to wonder ‘what if’. At least they’ll know you believe in them and want them to believe in themselves. Besides, most of the time you’ll find that your children won’t ask for these opportunities unless they really want them. And if they want something bad enough, they are going to give it all they’ve got—and that’s what really matters most.

Zach wasn’t a three year-old with super powers that September day in 1986. He was a little boy who really wanted to ride a two-wheel bike because in his mind that was what big brothers were supposed to be able to do...and so he did. I’d also like to think that being allowed to try rather than being told ‘no’ has something to do with the fact that over the years he’s proven to be highly proficient in operating anything on wheels.

Remember…your job as a parent is to love unconditionally and to foster your child’s sense of self-worth and confidence and to allow them opportunities to find out just who that someone is.

Love,
Momma D

                        Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without the permission of the author.

                                                        

Move Over, Barbie...Betty Spaghetti Is On The Scene

 

Betty Spaghetti was a bendable doll made of rubber and plastic. She was perky and colorful and her feet, hands and shoes were removable so they could be replaced with some that were even perkier and more colorful.

Her hair, legs and arms were rubbery and twistable (ergo the name, Betty Spaghetti) and could be shaped into a plethora  of styles and positions.

Take that, Barbie! I'd like to see you twist your unrealistically perfect legs into a figure eight! And I bet you can't make the letter 'S' with your arms like Betty Spaghetti. Oh, and Betty's hair never looked like she just went through a wind tunnel.  
    
At this point you may be wondering why I'm singing the praises of Betty Spaghetti. Well, wonder no more...

As parents we need to encourage our children to be more like Betty Spaghetti. We need to let them bend and twist to become who THEY are (that whole move to the beat of their own drum philosophy). We need to be careful not to push or allow them to put on the rigid, hard exterior of what society views as the perfect (Barbie-like) child or teen.

In letting our children bend and twist into their own personality, we give them the gift of being happy and confident in who they are. If, however, we push or allow conformity to the world's unrealistic expectations, they'll end up feeling inadequate and convinced they will never measure up or be good enough. They'll snap like a piece of hard, uncooked spaghetti at the first sign of stress.

Just like spaghetti (the kind we eat) has to be immersed into hot water before it can be softened into what it is supposed to be, as parents, we need to bathe our children in the warmth of love, security and grace to bend, twist and navigate through life being the wonderful, unique individual they are.

Love,

Momma D

                      Copyright 2015 Darla Noble No part of this blog can be copied or used without permission from the author

 

 

Momma, You So Pwetty

Zach was always a happy and healthy little guy. His big brown eyes sparkled and his sweet smile never failed to make my day. But one day when Zach was a little over a year old, he woke up with a fever and an earache.

When I leaned down over him in his bed to kiss him and take his temperature, he looked up at me and said, “Momma you so pwetty”.

My heart instantly melted. My little boy saw me from the inside out.

What do your children see when they look at you?

Do they see a mom or dad who doesn’t hold back their love?

Do they see a mom or dad who treats their other parent with respect…if not love AND respect?

Do they see a mom or dad who has integrity and honor?

Do they see a mom or dad who loves them for who they are…period?

Do they see a mom or dad who lives their faith and is the same person no matter where they are or who they’re with?

Do they see a mom or dad who demonstrates a strong work ethic?

Do they see a mom or dad who values family and home over money and status?

Do they see a mom or dad who will always be there for them… no matter what?

I’m sure there have been times in Zach’s life (and the lives of my other children) when they haven’t always thought I was so ‘pwetty’, but there has never been a time in their lives when they haven’t known they have my unconditional and undying love.

I hope and pray you can say the same.

 

Love,

Momma D
                                Copyright 2015 Darla Noble No part of this can be copied or used with permission from the author.

                                                  

A Garbage Disposal Is No Place For A Fish Or Your Kids

That moment when you have to stick your hand down the drain/garbage disposal because you drop your fish down there while cleaning its bowl...yah, I just had that moment. I sure hope Merida the fish is as brave as its namesake Disney Princess.

This was what I posted on my Facebook page a little over a week ago. That’s right—Momma D somehow let Merida the fish land in the garbage disposal instead of back into the bowl after changing the water.

I was horrified! I also immediately shoved my hand down into the drain/garbage disposal where Merida was thrashing around. Grabbing the fish with two fingers (so I wouldn’t squish it), I pulled it out and quickly dropped my little fish back into its bowl…where I just knew I would find it floating on top of the water by the end of the day.

But wait! That’s not what happened. Merida continued to swim around in the bowl as if nothing happened. Merida the fish had been to the garbage disposal and back and lived to ‘tell’ about it.

Some of the comments I received following my post on Facebook implied (not so subtly, I might add) that I should have just flipped the switch and been done—that I’d missed my chance.

I know these things were said in jest and I was not offended in the least, but I couldn’t have disagreed more. What can I say—I like Merida.

Merida’s rescue also reminded me of something very important when it comes to parenting our children: NEVER GIVE UP and NEVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOUR CHILD FEEL LIKE HE/SHE IS DISPOSABLE.

All too often, children with physical or emotional disabilities are pushed aside to make way for the ‘smart kids’ or kids who have potential (as if any child doesn’t have potential!).

Children who rebel, trap themselves in addictions, or who fall into the depths of low self-esteem and self-destruction are often labeled ‘outcasts’, ‘lost causes’,  or ‘detriments to society’.

Don’t let this happen to your child. Don’t DO this to your child.

Every child struggles now and again—some more than others. The severity of their struggles isn’t the point. What IS the point, is that they know you are there for them—ready to grab hold of them if they need help getting out of the ‘garbage disposal’ and encourage them to be the incredible, unique, and beautiful person they are.

 Love,

Momma D

                     Copyright 2015 Darla Noble No part of this may be used or copied without permission from the author.


                                                                            

 

 

Who Needs A Disney Princess When I Have You?

The other day my daughter Olivia called to share a special mom-moment with me. Reuben woke up singing “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider” and she just stood outside his bedroom door listening with joy in her heart and being thankful she was able to enjoy and experience these moments in her son’s life.

Within the last two weeks I’ve also:

·         Skyped with my daughter, Emma, to share her excitement over Essie pulling up to stand on her own two feet…by herself

·         Shared my oldest daughter Elizabeth’s concern for Laney’s rash and her awe in the fact that this little girl can hold her pet rabbit in her arms and swing with him in her swing (and yes, Boots is a real rabbit)

·         Been able to spend time with my daughter in-law, Becca; laughing over the antics of Mack and Macy and watching her be the loving, patient, yet firm mom that she is
 

None of the events the girls shared with me are going to change the world, make the headlines, or make the kids (and their parents) rich and famous. But that’s okay, because while The Little Mermaid and Belle have taken a back seat to Anna and Elsa, I know without a doubt that Reuben, Essie, Laney, Mackenzie, and Macy will never be pushed aside for someone with more sparkles, different songs, or a snowman that doesn’t melt.

As parents, my girls understand that it’s the little things that make their little ones unique, precious, and irreplaceable. They understand that being a mom is about taking the time to notice and enjoy the little things; tucking them away in their hearts for someday when (all too quickly) the kids are grown and they (my girls) are where I’m at now.

How about you? Are you taking the time to really enjoy your children? Are you giving them the time and opportunity to experience life the way a kid should?

Don’t be too busy to miss out on the simple, yet special things that happen in your child’s life—the things that steal your heart and make it sing like a Disney Princess.

Love,

Momma D

                          Copyright 2015-Darla Noble No part of this can be copied or used without the permission of the author

                                                            

Go Ahead...Write Your Own Mom Song

Have you heard the “Mom Song” by Anita Renfroe? Sung (I use that word loosely) to the tune of the “William Tell Overture”, she condenses what she believes to be a mom’s 24 hour discourse with her children into a ‘song’ lasting just under three minutes.

Anyway...I heard the song on the radio the other morning and as I listened, two things came to mind.

1)      The words “I love you” were wedged into the song (near the end) only once.

2)      The words “I’m sorry” were not mentioned at all.

Okay, so I know the song is meant to be satirical. I also know there’s a bit of truth in it, too. I’m not too proud to admit I’ve played the because-I-said-so card a few times. So in some ways, the song is good for a chuckle or two. But what I don’t want is for parents to listen to this song and nod their heads in agreement—thinking that this is what parenting is all about.

Don’t forget that for every ‘brush your teeth’, ‘don’t make me tell you twice’, and ‘no dessert if you don’t eat your dinner’, there needs to be at least a dozen ‘I love you’s’.

Don’t forget that two of the most powerful words you will ever say to your child are ‘I’m sorry’. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is essential, because let’s face it—you aren’t always right. You do make mistakes and your attitude isn’t always what it should be. You’re human—every parent is. In fact, parents are just as human as their children.

My intent is not to bash Anita Renfroe and her song, but at the same time, I want parents to remember that her rendition of the average day in the life of a mom is not what you should be striving for or willing to settle for. Your kids deserve more than that from you and you deserve more than that from your role as a parent.

So go ahead…make up your own mom song—one that let’s everyone know you see parenting as a privilege instead of a chore of never-ending reminders and ‘police actions’.

"I love you, Zach, Elizabeth, Olivia & Emma Dale and I’m sorry for (you can fill in the blank).": sung to the tune of...

Love,

Momma D

                        Copyright 2015-Darla Noble No part of this can be printed, copied, or reproduced without permission from the author.

                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                      

      

                                                                                                             

No Surprises Here

I am running a bit behind this week. If you are regular followers of the blog, you know Momma D usually ‘imparts her wisdom’ on Tuesday or Wednesday of each week. What can I say, other than it has been a busy week? Reuben is spending several days with us while Momma (Olivia) is recuperating from feeling less-than-perky. I can’t completely ‘blame’ my tardiness on Reuben, though, because I hadn’t decided for sure what I was going to write, either. But once again, God’s timing is perfect because when I checked Facebook this morning I found the following at the top of my news feed:

(I have) the three best in the world. Prayers and thoughts for Liv right now. She's in a fair amount of pain and it’s not supposed to be that way. I'm the big brother, I'm supposed to bear the burden to protect and ensure comfort and happiness in the lives of the most important women in my life. Becca Noble, Mack and Macy Noble, Liv Peters, Boo Boo Vandivert, and Emma Waggoner. I love you all.

My son, Zach, had posted this along with a picture that said “I ©my sister”.  

I can honestly say I wasn't surprised to see this. No, not even a little bit. So why did I share this with you today? To encourage young families (even families raising tweens and teens)--that's why.

Hang in there! Don’t give up hoping your children will learn to get along with one another because they will. Don’t quit hoping that someday they will appreciate each other because they will. Don’t think they don’t love each other because they do.

Continue to teach them how to share…how to extend grace…how to forgive…how to show compassion…how to love.

Continue to share...to extend grace...to forgive...to show compassion...to love.

Make yours a home where family is valued and treasured because they understand that when everyone and everything else has come and gone family will still be there.

 

Love,

Momma D

                                       Copyright 2015-Darla Noble No part of this can be printed, copied, or reproduced without permission from the author.

                                                                   

All That and a Bag of Chips

One of highlights of my kids’ year was the Wyman Carnival, aka, the yearly fundraiser at the elementary school they attended. The Wyman Carnival was a typical school carnival; a fish pond, cake walk, ring toss, popcorn, cotton candy, face painting, and everything else you would expect to find at an event such as this…including the cheap little prizes…ahem…I mean treasures the kids collected for playing the games (over and over and over again).

Oh, who am I trying to kid—the carnival was fun for the parents, too. It was fun to supervise the games; watching the kids react to being at school but not in school and giddy with the excitement that came from the sense of freedom they had.

Yes, you heard me—most of us allowed our children to go from room to room to room with their siblings and friends without us tagging along behind them or telling them where to go and what to do. That’s right—they were on their own. They decided how to ‘spend’ their carnival tickets. They decided how to conduct themselves. They decided which prize to choose after playing a game. It was up to them to find their way from one room to another and to listen to and understand the rules of the game.

Do you see where I’m going with this? As a parent, you have to give your children the freedom to experience life on their own. You have to give your children a certain amount of freedom to make their own choices and decisions without looking over their shoulder to see if you approve or to acquiesce to what you think.

You also have to give them these freedoms away from the confines of home. Giving them the choice between wearing a red shirt or a brown one or whether they want waffles or cereal for breakfast is a great place to start, but you have to let them use these same skills in public and with their peers. Remember…if you give them the opportunity to do this at an early age while you are still able to influence and mold them, they will be better equipped to make good choices in a few years when you aren’t nearly as ‘cool’ in their eyes.

Our days as “Wyman kids” are long gone, but my kids will still tell you their favorite thing about the Wyman Carnival was feeling like they were all that and a bag of chips walking around without me. (Little did they know their freedom was actually a life-lesson in self-discipline and responsibility)

I know it’s not easy for parents to feel like this is an option these days—what with all the scary things happening out there. But there were scary things happening then, too. I just chose to educate and equip my kids to know how to respond and conduct themselves instead of leaving them to figure it out on their own when hovering over them was no longer an option.

I hope you will do the same.

Love,

Momma D

                             Copyright 2015-Darla Noble No part of this can be printed, copied, or reproduced without permission from the author.