Over the last few days I’ve been reminded of two valuable
lessons—persistence and tolerance or ‘keeping your cool’. The lesson of
persistence came from seventeen month-old Essie. The lesson of composure came
from my ten year old mini doxie, Snickers—which equals seventy in dog years.
Essie , who heard “Esther Kathleen, leave that poor dog
alone” more times than even I can count over the last few days, was fascinated with
Snickers’ nose and whiskers. She’d rub them every chance she got. That, and
kiss her over and over and over again. Esther’s persistence in her pursuit of
making Snickers her friend was unwavering…and successful.
Snickers, whose fondness for children used to be described
as ‘tolerant at best’ usually put herself out of reach of little hands, buried her
face in a pillow, and adopted the attitude of if-I-ignore-them-they’ll-go-away.
Not this time. Essie would pet Snickers’ nose and whiskers, Snickers would turn
the opposite direction—putting her face out of reach. No problem for Essie—she’d
just move to the other side.
I know some of you are thinking so what? My dog does that,
too. But here’s the thing—there was a day not so long ago when Essie’s actions
would have resulted in bared teeth, growling, and yes, even snapping at her. But
thanks to Essie’s perseverance, as well as that of Mackenzie, Macy, Reuben, and
Laney, Snickers has learned to be more tolerant and receptive of little hands
and clumsy kisses on the top of her head. She even greets them with a wagging
tail and a kiss of her own now days….well, most of the time.
As parents we can learn a lot from both the toddler and the
dog.
Persistence: Don’t
give in to your children’s whining, fits, and tantrums. Your persistent insistence
(say that three times really fast) on good behavior will pay off. Giving in
(even once in a while) leaves you with a whiny, spoiled, and disrespectful child
and teenager with an over-inflated sense of entitlement. Be persistent in letting
your child know they have your unconditional love. Be persistent in helping
your child become the best possible ‘them’. Be their advocate, but not their
rescuer. In other words, stand up for them when you should, but don’t shield
them from the consequences of their actions.
Tolerance: Little
hands, little minds, and little hearts are overflowing with the need and desire
to help and learn by working side by side with you. So…slow down, don’t insist
on perfection, and take every advantage of these moments while you have the
chance to enjoy them. Don’t lose your cool when your kids ‘wash’ the car or ‘clean
up’ the kitchen. Their eyes don’t see what you see and their hearts truly are
in the right place. Be tolerant of less-than-perfect grade cards and spelling
tests. No one is perfect. Not even you or your child. Besides, their best (not the best) is all you have the right to expect. Don’t lose your cool
when your teenager acts out and talks back. Instead, be cool, calm, collected,
and firm when letting them know this kind of behavior will not be tolerated.
So there you have it—two valuable lessons from two
pint-sized teachers.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission of the author.
