Momma, Why Does Santa Like Some Kids More Than Me???

A few years ago I read something that broke my heart. It was an open letter from a mom to all the other moms ‘out there’. The woman was asking moms across the country to please have Santa give their children ordinary gifts rather than expensive, extravagant items like phones, computers, gaming devices, designer clothes, and the latest and greatest toys, and that if parents chose to give their children more expensive items,  that they come from them instead of Santa.

Why? Because she never wanted to be put in the position of having to answer her six year-old daughter’s question again—“Why does Santa Claus like other kids more than he does me?”

This loving mother explained that she and her husband worked hard to provide for their two children, but their paychecks barely paid for the necessities in life like rent, childcare, food, utilities, clothes, and vehicle expenses. In other words, there wasn’t much left for Christmas.

“We couldn’t afford the things other kids in their classes at school got,” she said. “But when my daughter heard other kids talking about what they got, she was hurt and confused. Not because she didn’t get those things, but because she viewed the obvious differences as a sign that she wasn’t good enough in Santa’s eyes to merit such gifts—that she had done something bad or wrong to cause him not to bring her the same type of gifts some of her friends received.”

This mom  went on to write that she didn’t want people feeling sorry for them and that she wasn’t asking for a hand-out. She just wanted to remind people that since we tell our kids that Santa loves all boys and girls and that he brings gifts to them because of this love, we need to make Santa an ‘equal opportunity gift-giver’.

So as you get ready to head out to grab up all those great deals and try to fulfil the wishes of everyone on your gift list, remember that it really isn’t the cost or extravagance of the gift, but the fact that you thought of giving anything at all. Besides, if you think about it, Santa can’t possibly afford all those things, so….

Love,

Momma D

                            Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be copied or used without permission from the author. 

                                                                                                         

Swallow That Apple!!!

 Back when Elizabeth was just a toddler, I was wiping her little hands and face after she’d eaten her daily peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cheese cubes, and apple for lunch. But on this particular day, when I wiped her mouth, it was obvious it was still full. Upon further investigation I discovered she was ‘hoarding’ her diced up apple in her cheek like a chipmunk. Why? Who knows? But nothing I said or did could convince her to swallow that apple—not even threatening to take away her beloved Stacy (her doll).

When losing Stacy didn’t work, I decided that apple must be pretty important to her, so I let her down. And would you believe she kept that mouthful of apple for almost five hours!?!?!?! I still don't know why she wouldn't swallow it, but here is what I do know…

I know that was one of the quietest days of my life, because my very vocal almost-two-year-old with a massive vocabulary was too busy holding on to her apple to talk.

I know that a mushed-up apple isn’t the only thing Elizabeth has held on to in her life.

I know that Elizabeth is no different than anyone else and that EVERY kid holds on to things—a lot of things. They hold on to memories of games played, stories read, hugs and smiles, words spoken (both good and bad), the time you spent with them…and the time you didn’t. They hold on to memories of favorite smells, favorite shirts, memories of being called chubby or weird, of awards won and accomplishments…accomplished. Kids hold on to memories of camping trips, picnics, and the first fish they caught.

Now here’s a question for you—Are you holding on to what I’m saying? I hope so, but I’m not done yet. There’s a flip side to this coin. 

We parents need to be careful of what we hold on to, too. Holding on to your child’s clumsiness on the basketball court and using it as a reason they ‘can’t’ make the team in junior high is wrong. Holding on to your teen’s rebellion or poor choice(s) isn’t fair to either of you. They will never move forward if you are constantly holding them in the past. They will never be more of who they can be if you never see them as anyone other than who they were.

On the other hand, don't ever let go of those first smiles, the cuddles, the times you heard, "Mom, can we talk?", or "Dad, what do you think I should do?". Hold on to the beaming smile that spreads across their face when they spot you in the audience at their school play. Hold on to the times they came running to you for comfort. Hold on to the casual conversations at the dinner table and in the car. Hold on to the sound of them playing with their toys, singing along to the radio, and even the seemingly endless barrage of "Why?" or "Why not?". 

Holding on to the right things can be great. These things can bring comfort, courage, and hold you together when nothing else can. Holding on to the right things can even save your life. Holding on to the wrong things, however, can do a lot of harm. These things can hurt you. Hold you back. Ruin relationship. Keep you from living the life you are meant to live.

But if you do your best to give your child the right things to hold on to, they won’t have much room left for the not-so-good things. Or to put it another way, your not-so-good things won’t matter to them, because their not-so-good things don’t matter to you.

Like I said, I'll never know why Elizabeth held on to that mouthful of apple all those years ago. Who knows—maybe she just wanted to give me something to write about today.

 

Love,

Momma D

                            Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be printed or used without permission from the author. 

                                                                                                         

I Am From Leftover Cookie Dough and Walnut Stained Hands

Lately I’ve found myself thinking about the house/farm we called home for all the years we were raising our kids. It was the same place my grandpa was born. It was the same place my mom was born. The roots ran true and deep and there’s no other place I would have wanted to raise them.

The house you raise your family in and the effort you put into making it a home is vital to your child’s sense of self-worth and confidence. But you might be surprised to learn that it’s not the size of the house, the amenities of the house, or the address of the house that make it a home. To your children, it is the culmination of your family’s ‘fingerprints’—the tangible and intangible personality traits that make the home that builds your children into adults.

I could spend a few minutes expounding on what I mean by family fingerprints or personality traits, but instead, I’ll let a small portion of Emma’s poem—one she wrote in high school—do the job for me.

Where I Come From—by Emma Noble

I am the floor that creaks…

The red tile kitchen floor…

I am from 105.3 in my brother’s first truck…

From the walnuts that stain my hands…

From the chair I stood on to dry dishes…

From my mom’s flowerbeds, sidewalk chalk, gravel on my bare feet…

From a musty barn full of sheep…

I am leftover cookie dough...

I am from pigtails and cowboy boots to t-shirts and peace signs...

I am from the scar on my finger from sticking rocks in the VCR when I was three...

I am from "Golden Girls" reruns...

Never having to lock our doors...

From my sisters' clothes...

From red church pews--when churches still had pews...

The metal bowl in the kitchen and knowing what's in every cabinet...

From my dad’s hankie in his back pocket; he always has one…

I am from 12750 County Road 7160

Take it from Emma, parents; raising kids is about the little things…a whole lot of little things that make life something to smile about.

Love,

Momma D

                            Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.

                                                                                                         

QUIT TRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For most of my life I’ve been okay with the fact that I have naturally curly hair. In fact, I’m actually thankful for my hair…but it hasn’t always been that way. You see, I was in junior high and high school when Farrah was in her prime; meaning you couldn’t turn in any direction without seeing long, layered hair with feathered bangs that required a LOT of hairspray to hold them in place. And if you didn’t have that kind of hair, you had the short and very straight Dorothy Hamill look with that perfect little upsweep in the back that came to a point.

And then there was me...and Penny, Donna, and Lisa. Layers only made it curlier, feathered bangs were not an option (feathers aren’t curly, you know), and the whole Dorothy thing, well that was definitely out of the question.

So what did I do? I gave up, that’s what! I gave up trying to transform myself into someone I wasn’t. And you know what? I turned out just fine. I married my childhood sweetie (he loves my curls). I raised four nearly-perfect kids who have given me five absolutely perfect grandchildren and I am honoring God by using my gift for writing to educate and encourage people around the world (hopefully you’re one of them).

The moral of this story is QUIT TRYING! Quit trying to make your eight-year old into a musician when he/she would rather be drawing pictures or building robots. Quit trying to turn your thirteen year old into a future scholarship awardee for playing soccer when he/she would rather be blowing into a clarinet or making jewelry to sell to all her friends. In other words, QUIT TRYING to turn their ‘curls’ into ‘feathers’.

When you encourage or even force your kids to work on their weaknesses instead of their strengths you set them up for failure and a sense of poor self-worth. You are also wasting time they could be spending doing things that make them feel great about themselves and that are actually inspiring them toward a bright future. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t encourage your six year old to keep trying when it comes to reading or that your two year old shouldn’t be encouraged to use the big girl/boy potty. What I’m saying is this: God made us all uniquely special and as parents, it’s our job to help our kids learn to let that uniqueness shine brighter than the north star—not try to ‘fix’ what we think God could have done better.

Love,

Momma D

                           Copyright 2015 Darla Noble. No part of this may be used or copied without permission from the author.