John and I raised our kids
using our faith in God and the Bible’s teachings, common sense, and a whole lot
of love. But I have to tell you there’s something (or ‘someone’) else I
depended on for advice. She’s got a first-rate philosophy when it comes to
raising kids. I mean this gal really knows her stuff. Her name? Momma Bear…Momma
Berenstain Bear.
You might be laughing right
now or even thinking all those years of raising my kids was harder on my brain
than I’m willing to admit, but before you go that far, hear me out.
Momma Bear faced just about
every issue a parent can face and wasn’t afraid to address these issues
realistically, unapologetically, and the way every parent should—with respect,
discipline, and love. For example…
When Sister Bear was faced
with how to deal with the in-crowd (aka mean girls), Mamma’s words of wisdom
were exactly what Sister (and our kids) needed to hear: “They show off for the crowd by picking on someone who has a certain
kind of name or wears a certain kind of clothes. They try to build themselves
up by putting others down.” In other words, you don’t need friends who
treat other people unkindly in order to get attention.
And then there’s the issue of
trusting your kids with the freedom of being out from under the umbrella of
your supervision. Mamma Bear sums it up better than anyone when she says, “With privilege comes responsibility.”
Remind your kids that every action we take has a consequence; good, bad or
indifferent and that we all have to live with the consequences of our actions as well as the actions of others we
associate with.
Momma Bear isn’t the only one
in Bear County who knows what life is all about, though. When it comes to
facing up to peer pressure without caving in, Farmer Ben had a few things to
say worth repeating…like when he was talking to Brother Bear about going along
with the members of a rowdy bunch of boys because he was too afraid to say no.
Here’s what he told Brother, “…being a
part of a group is okay-and maybe even having a leader. But you always have to
think for yourself-especially about important things like what’s right and
what’s wrong, and what’s safe and what’s dangerous.”
Here’s something else Momma
Bear helped me teach my kids: I really do
understand. When your kids play the ‘you don’t understand’ card, start sharing
stories from your childhood and teen years and the outcome of the decisions you
made (good and/or bad). Doing this builds a stronger bond between the two of you.
They’ll hear first-hand that you really do understand the pressures they face
to fit in. And who knows…they might even actually consider you a safe and
viable source of support and advice in the future. I know that’s what happened
in my house.
Momma Bear reminded me why it is important to hold
our kids accountable for the lies they tell, to own their mistakes, not to put
too much pressure on them, to not judge people based on what they look like,
and a plethora of other important things. But most of all, Momma Bear reminded
me (and my kids) that at the end of the day knowing that you are loved with
that ‘just because’ kind of unconditional love is what matters most.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2016 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
