I remember reading and article a few years ago talking about the fact that Tori Spelling let her seven year-old daughter dye her hair and her surprise at the backlash she was receiving over the ‘ordeal’. Spelling, the mother of four, said she after talking to her daughter about why she wanted to do it, she decided to let her proceed with both her help and her ‘blessing’.
Afterwards, the little girl said she learned something from
doing it—that she never wanted to color her hair again. Spelling said she also
learned something—that sometimes it’s better to let your kids have learning
experiences such as this in a ‘controlled environment’ (under your supervision);
enabling you to oversee the valuable lessons they can learn resulting from
their actions.
As I read the article I was reminded of something somewhat
similar in our house several years ago involving a smelly green tent. The tent
was old and tiny and no matter how much you aired it out, it had that old canvas
tent smell to it—something that didn’t seem to bother the kids at all. So every
once in a while they hauled it out of the basement and pitched it in the back
yard with the intention of spending the night in it.
I knew they wouldn’t follow through on the plan for one
reason or another, OR that if they actually did start out in the tent they
wouldn’t stay until morning. How did I know? I just did. If you’re a parent you
know what I’m talking about.
So what did I do? I let them pitch the tent, load it up with
everything they thought they would need for the night, and then said prayers
with them…in their beds come bedtime. Well, all except for that one time when
they actually started out there knowing the door would be unlocked if (when)
they changed their minds.
Now I realize allowing your little girl to dye her hair is
bigger than the whole tent thing and I also realize the possible negative self-image
issues the hair dye might conjure up. But here’s the deal: Tori Spelling wasn’t
encouraging her daughter to change her looks or implying in any way that a dye
job would make her daughter prettier, smarter, a better person, or anything
else. She was simply giving her daughter the opportunity to satisfy her
curiosity about something with supervision and in a loving, safe environment.
I admit when Emma asked to dye her hair “Ariel Red” at age
four, I said no. Not because she asked, but because she asked for “Ariel Red”.
I mean, seriously, would you have said yes? I also said no to a few other
things, too, because I knew nothing good could come from them. I did, however, say
yes to perms, yes to bike ramps, yes to death traps…I mean tree swings, yes to
welcoming a mouse into my house, and yes to several other things that would
have been easier (and possibly smarter) to say no to. But had I done so, my
kids would have been left wondering ‘what if’ and ‘I wonder what it would be
like to….”
The morals of the story: 1) You don’t have to be named
George to be curious and 2) Teaching your child how to know the difference
between a life-lesson and a life-altering mistake is best done when they’re
small.
Love,
Momma D
Momma D
Copyright 2016 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
