Bubba, Thanks for Asking...

With four children you can be sure things could get pretty loud and chaotic in our house at times. Believe me, I've heard my share of 'he did...' and 'she did it first...' and 'she took my...' and 'tell him to stop' and...well, you get the picture.

But there were plenty of good times, too; times when it was obvious they would rather be together than anywhere else and times when their love for one another was bigger and louder than any argument they ever had. Thankfully the good times were more plentiful than the not-so-good ones, but one such moment I know I will never forget happened one night when Zach took Emma on a 'date'...

We had spent most of the week showing livestock at the fair. The fair ended on Saturday night. We had taken the animals home and had gotten everything put away when Zach, who was sixteen, asked if he could go back to the demolition derby and if he could take four year-old Emma with him. We agreed, but said they couldn't stay too late. And off they went.

They came home a little after ten. Emma was obviously sleepy and immediately started toward her bedroom. But then she stopped, turned around, came back to Zach and said, "Bubba, thanks for asking me to go with you tonight." And without a moment's hesitation, Zach said, "You're welcome, Emma and thanks for going with me."

My heart just melted. They really did love each other. They still do.

If you have more than one child there are times when everyone in your house isn't getting along. That's just the way it is. Siblings argue. They fight (sometimes physically). Again...that's just the way it is. BUT...as parents we need to teach our children to love one another and to watch out for one another. We have the responsibility to teach our children that siblings are their forever-friends and that no one will ever be able to fill that spot in their heart.

Love,

Momma D

Once a Mom...Always a Mom

While I was speaking to my daughter, Olivia, on the phone yesterday, my oldest daughter, Elizabeth, was trying to call me, as well. Does that make me a top contender for mom of the year? No. What it makes me is a mom.

After I finished my conversation, I redialed Elizabeth's number to hear the words-

• Mom, can you help me?
• I need you-can you come?
• Laney is running a fever and needs medicine. I don't want to get her out in the cold.

Of course I said 'yes'-that I would be there as soon as I could. Of course I set aside what I was doing to go help my daughter. That's what moms do. But as I was driving across town, my thoughts were not for Elizabeth and Laney. My thoughts were much older than that...

I was thinking of all the times my Granny hurried to my side to be my extra set of hands. I was thinking of the times she snuggled Elizabeth and her siblings when they were sick the same way I would be snuggling with Laney in a few minutes. I thought about all the ways Granny taught me once-a-mom-always-a-mom just by being herself. She couldn't have stopped it if she had wanted to.

I realize that driving across town isn't always an option. Not all of my children live close enough for me to be able to do that. But there are countless ways to be that kind of mom; the kind that is always there when you are needed. Making yourself physically and emotionally accessible doesn't always require a car, but it always requires a heart filled to overflowing with the desire to be your best and do your best for your children.

I hope and pray I am that kind of once-a-mom-always-a-mom. I hope and pray that my daughters see Granny in me and that I can bless their lives the way she blessed mine.

What will you do today to let your children know the job of  MOM is one you have no intention of retiring from?


Love,

Momma D

Help Wanted...Help Needed

I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the fact that I had my Granny by my side (literally and figuratively) as I experienced each stage of motherhood and even as I entered grandmother-hood. She was there to encourage, warn, share her experiences, be a living, breathing example and to invest herself in my experience and in the lives of my children.

There were times when I thought she worried a bit too much-like every Sunday when the temperature was below 50 and she would check to see if my girls had on undershirts (they usually didn't). But those times paled in comparison to the countless times she made herself available to me physically and emotionally; like the times she... Cared for my family when I was on bed rest for pregnancy complications, read to the kids, sang with the kids and patiently fed my picky eaters, rushed right out when Elizabeth's hens laid their first eggs because Elizabeth wanted Granny to have all 2 of them, was a haven for Zach during cross country practice; providing a cold drink of water. And let's not forget the fact that she came to all the kids' school and church program, was a willing participant in games like beauty shop, patiently allowed two year-old Zach to make icing flowers for a wedding cake (and put them on there), and on and on the list could go.

So why am I sharing these moments with you? I'm sharing these memories because I want to convey to you the importance of joining together with our fellow moms for the purpose of 'show and tell', encouragement and support.

If you are an older mom and/or grandma, be there for the young moms in your family, church family and even possibly your neighborhood. Let them know what they are doing right, that you are there when they need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend or a helping hand. Young moms need this. They crave it, but are sometimes afraid to ask (for fear of being thought a failure)or don't know how to ask.

If you are a young mom living the life of snotty noses, snuggles and hugs, flour paste maps, lost gloves and trips to the ER, pick a mentor or two to help you along your way. Ask one or two women you admire if you can get their advice from time to time, ask them to reassure you that you aren't losing your mind, or if they could possibly come to your rescue from time to time.

While I believe with all my heart that there is no replacement for mom and dad, both you and your children can benefit greatly from having the love and wisdom of an older more experienced mom in your lives. I know I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for my Granny. And my children's lives wouldn't be as rich in love and memories if she had not been such an important role model and constant for them.

Who can be that person for you?

Love,
Momma D

Hide 'em In Your Heart

You know what they say about once you learn to ride a bike you never forget how...well, the same goes for embedding the word of God in your heart. When the kids were little we used to listen to this thing called a cassette tape. It was filled with scripture verses put to music by the talented Christian music artist, Steve Green. We sang them all the time. I used them in children's church, as well; even writing an entire musical program built around those spirit-filled songs. Anyway... As the kids got older we didn't spend nearly as much time singing those songs, but whenever certain things would happen, the kids would start singing one of those songs (appropriate to the situation). That's what happened the day Olivia and a friend had a car accident. I was in the grocery store when my phone rang. It was Olivia crying and saying she and a friend had been in a car accident on the way home from a school function. She wanted me and she wanted me NOW! I cannot even begin to tell you how my heart ached at that moment, but the logistics of the situation made it impossible for me to be there right now. As I continued to talk to her...trying to calm her down while they were waiting for help to arrive, she asked me to sing the 'when I am afraid' song. The song Olivia was referring to was the song, "When I am Afraid I will Trust in You"-Psalm 56:3 put to music. We started singing it together which greatly calmed us both down until I could get to her. That simple little tune filled with words of the psalmist-giving praise and thanks to God-was 'just' a song when she was three. But twelve years later they were the words that brought her comfort and assurance that the trust she was singing about was relevant and true. The lesson here is that these little, seemingly insignificant things we do with our children aren't so insignificant. As parents it is our job to give them the tools and resources they need to grow and mature in their relationship with God right from the start; making it a part of who they are...hiding them in their hearts. Love, Momma D

It's a Great Day to be Alive

Back in the winter of 2000, Travis Tritt released the hit song, "It's a Great Day to be Alive". It goes something like this... "It's a great day to be alive; I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes; There's some hard times in the neighborhood; But why can't every day be just this good....

You may or may not remember the song, but I know I will never forget it, and here's why... My youngest daughter, Emma, loved to sing and has always had a knack for picking up the lyrics to every song she hears almost immediately-this song included. Anyway...one day in the summer of 2001, when Emma was five, I told her to get out of the swimming pool and dry off while I started fixing dinner. Emma's mode of drying off was usually the swing set, so off she went. When I looked out the kitchen window, there she was--swinging as high as she could; her long hair trailing behind her. But she wasn't just swinging. She was swinging AND singing at the top of her lungs. And yep, you guessed it...she was singing "It's a Great Day to be Alive" at the top of her lungs.

What made this so incredibly sweet was that Emma wasn't just singing the song...she believed it with her whole heart. I can still hear that little voice and see my little girl wearing a Little Mermaid swimming suit 'flying' through the air. It was one of the most profound moments of my life.

Yes, profound, because she believed with her whole being that it really was a great day to be alive. She was safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. What better affirmation as a parent could there possibly be, right? And in that moment I couldn't have been more thankful that John and I were able to give her that.

As parents our goal should be to make every day a great day for our children to be alive. No, not by giving them everything they think they want and need. No, not by working non-stop to be able to take them on exotic or expensive vacations. No, not by providing them with a house so big you have to look to find one another. As parents our goal should be to make every day a day our children know for sure and for certain that they are safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. Why? Because Momma D says so.

 Love,
 Momma D

They are Watching...and Listening to YOU!

My daughter, Olivia, called this morning to tell me the latest cute thing Reuben had done. Here is what she had to say... Reuben, who just turned 13 months old, was sitting in his high chair eating toast for breakfast. The television was on and a commercial came on for (I don't remember what). The commercial ends with a group of people clapping. Rueben, who couldn't see the television, heard the clapping, put his toast down on his tray and began to clap right along with them. Ahh, isn't that cute. Of course it is! And being the loving nanna that I am, I laughed and agreed that he's one adorable kid. But then I thought about this... How often do we, as parents, say or do things at home or in public that we think no one sees or hears. Or maybe we intend for others to see and hear them...but not our children. Hhhmmm...that's not such a pleasant thought, is it? Let's face it, we've all had a few of those do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do moments. But these have to be the exception to the rule...slip-ups that happen on rare occasions because we...well, because we are human. Our kids are watching and listening to us. Even when they get past that stage of thinking we walk on water, they are listening and watching us. They want someone to look up to...someone to pattern their behaviors after...someone they can emulate. And that someone is you! Think about it...haven't you seen yourself or heard yourself do or say something your parents did or said? Your children are looking at you and looking up to you. Give the someone worth watching and listening to. Give them parents who love and serve the Lord and who live a life of honor, integrity and faith 24/7. Well, what do you think? When have you experienced this with your kids? Love, Momma D

Your Terms...Your Turf

One of the most difficult jobs a parent has is to teach their children the difference between choosing the wrong friends and being kind and considerate to everyone-as Jesus calls us to do. Am I right? While we don't want our children to think they are better than someone else or too good to be someone's friend, we have the responsibility to teach them to be discerning in who they spend their time with.

The Bible provides numerous warnings and instructions in this area. The one I'll focus on here, however, is Jesus' time spent eating with the tax collectors and other reprobates of the time. The Pharisees were quick to admonish him, to which he replied that sick people needed a doctor-not those who were well.

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard my kids and kids who I love as if they were my own, try to use this as an excuse for spending time with people and in places they shouldn't. You know what I mean...

"I'll be there to make sure so-and-so doesn't do anything."
"I can go but not drink."
"Just because I hang out with them doesn't mean I am like them."

WRONG! Sure they might be able to pull this off a time or two (or maybe three), but if you spend enough time in the sun you are going to get burned. You are what you eat. Or whatever other saying you wish to insert here....

Jesus didn't hang out with the tax collectors and other sinners to make change for them or to be their sober chauffer. He went to them, told them what he had to offer and why it was so much better than what they had and then told them to follow him. Oh, and then he left. In other words...His terms...His turf.

SO....if your children are forming friendships with children who are lacking in discipline, parental guidance and strong moral and ethical teaching, don't push them out of your child's life. Instead, welcome them into YOURS, as well. Give them a safe place to play. Let them see what a loving, Godly home and life is like. Bring them onto your child's turf and teach them to set the terms of friendship in such a way that your home's expectations and rules will not be compromised. In doing so, you will be teaching your children to be salt and light for Jesus.

When You Go into a Ditch Say a Prayer

Several years ago (27 to be exact), we were traveling along snowy roads in order to spend Christmas with family. As the snowfall became heavier and heavier, the roads became slicker and slicker. So much so, that when the car in front of us started sliding, we had no choice but to try to avoid hitting them. When my husband began pumping the brakes, we also slid...right into the ditch.

Seconds after we stopped, our 3 year old son began to sing (to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It") "If you go into the ditch say a prayer....".

Thankfully we were able to drive right out and go on our way. There wasn't even a scratch on the car.
No, this isn't a lesson in defensive driving. My purpose in sharing this memory with you is to impress upon you as parents and grandparents how important it is to LIVE Jesus Christ; making your faith who you are not just something you do. As parents and grandparents we need to raise our little ones up to instinctively go to the Savior first of all in any and all situations.

How do you do that? Glad you asked. You teach by example. Let your light shine before them to bring glory to our Father in heaven.

I'd like to say that by doing so you have the assurance your children will follow suit. It is every Godly parent's hope and prayer that they do, but there will come a time when they will choose for themselves who they will serve. If they choose to serve the Lord, give thanks! If, however, they wander away, consider this time their time of 'sliding into the ditch'. And in those times, follow 3 year-old Zach's advice and say a prayer. Say lots of prayers.

"Mirror Check" Parenting

Tucked into one of the interior pockets of a purse my daughter gave me for my birthday one year, was a note. In the note she told me she loved me and was thankful for our relationship and that I was her mom. While it was nice to read these words, the words that left the greatest impression were the following...

"Mom, I am so proud of you. I don't know who you see when you look in the mirror, but when I look at you I see a woman who is strong, smart, beautiful and who loves God and her family with her whole heart. You are such an example to me and I hope that someday I will be just like you."

Wow! Did she really see all that? I was both happy and humbled. I was happy because she was seeing in me the mom and woman I wanted to be. Unfortunately for my kids I don't always look like that. I've had my share of 'bad hair days' as a mom and unfortunately for me, they've seen those 'bad hair days'. But fortunately for all of us, we've gotten through them. But we wouldn't have if I didn't take the time (even still) to do those 'mirror checks'--even the ones when I know I'm not looking so good.

So what about you? Do you think about what your children see when they look at you? You should, because I'm here to tell you that they are looking even when/if you don't think they are. And here's another thing you need to know--their vision is 20/20 when it comes to seeing the real you. They see deep down into your real self. They know the difference between who you are at home and who you are in public. They know your phone voice vs. your real voice. They know if you parent by example or are the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of parent.

Oh, and one more thing...your children don't stop looking once they leave home. In fact, they usually start looking closer and more intently once they leave home for college and to strike out on their own. So take a few minutes to stand in front of the mirror (the kind that allows you to see yourself from the inside out) and take a good, honest look. Do you like what your kids are seeing? If so, great! If not, it's never too late to do those 'touch ups'.

Love,
Momma D
                          Copyright 2020 Darla Noble. No part of this can be copied or used without permission from the author. 

                                                                                                                  



Look at All That Christmas

All That Christmas

When my granddaughter, Mackenzie, was about 17 months old, we were waiting in the drive-thru line at the bank. Sitting in her car seat, Mackenzie spied the window of a gift/interior decorating shop across the street from where we were. The window was filled with Christmas decor; an elegantly decorated tree, Santa, wreathes...you name it, it was there. There was even a mock fireplace with stockings all hung with care. 

Mackenzie, who had been chattering away (as usual) stopped in mid-sentence, took a deep breath and said in a voice filled with awe and wonder..."Nanna, just look at that. Just look at all that Christmas."

I will  never forget the softness and sweetness of those words and the look on her sweet little face. She was totally captivated. I'm getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it.

I'm sure a lot of you have memories of moments like that, as well. But I want to remind you that Christmas isn't the only time we parents (and grandparents) should be filling our children's lives with beauty and a sense of wonder.  

As parents, it should be our heart's desire to fill our children's lives with awe and wonder every single day. We should strive daily to keep their lives wise but innocent. Don't allow their childhood to become tainted with fears, anger, emotional pain and heartache. A child shouldn't have to worry about what is waiting for them at home or whether or not you have their back at school. They shouldn't have to worry about bullies and taunting at home or anywhere else. They need to know that they are loved and protected; treated with as more TLC than any glass bulb hung on a Christmas tree ever would be. 

Love,

Momma D