Have you ever been at a loss for words; you knew you should same something but you weren't sure of what that something should be. Of maybe you've done just the opposite. You know, the old open-mouth-insert-foot routine? So what do you do in situations like these?
You might remember your grandma or mom telling you as a child that 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. Sound familiar? Now while I definitely agree with the concept of teaching our children to not say things that are hurtful and unkind, I think we need to take it a step farther. I think as parents we need to learn a lesson from my sweet, nearly three year-old granddaughter, Macy Scout...
Macy loves to talk on the phone. But let's face it-at 2 1/2 there isn't a whole lot for her to talk about. The dogs, the sheep and cows, what she and her sister have been doing, whether or not she's been in time-out that day, where Grandpa is (and wanting to talk to him).... You know, the normal stuff. But that's usually not enough for Macy-she wants more 'air time'. So what does she do? When she cannot think of anything else to say, she simply says, "I just lub you so, so much, Nanna."
I instantly respond with the same and then she says it again..."I just lub you so, so much, Nanna."
Doesn't that just melt your heart? It sure does mine! The point I want to make though, is this...
Instead of teaching our children to be silent rather than not say things that are rude or unkind, teach them to fill that silence with words that encourage, mend relationships, melt hearts and share God's love. If we teach our children to go that extra step and fill the silence with friendship and love there won't be near as much room for bullying, gossip and all those other hurtful things.
Love,
Momma D
Life is full of goods and bads, bigs and littles, the predictable and the come-at-you-from-out-of-nowhere kind of things. But no matter what, we have total control over how we handle any and all of it. We can respond or react. We can let life deal with us, or we can deal with life. Most of the time (nobody's perfect) I do my best to respond with what Bible calls 'salty grace' (Colossians 4:6) which is to say and do things the way Jesus would. This blog is my salty grace to you. -Darla
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
The Not-so-big Mistake
Elizabeth has always been my orderly, methodical one-just like her dad. It has served her well and is just one of the many things about her that makes her the wonderful nurse she is. But once upon a time Elizabeth had to put aside her design for what she thought the order of things should be...
Elizabeth was more than ready to start kindergarten-so much so that she was only four when she climbed onto that school bus to enter the world of education. She was bright, articulate and loved to learn. Thankfully, we still had half-day kindergarten because her younger sister and I were more than ready to have her return home to eat lunch with us and tell us all about her first day of school.
She stepped off the bus and immediately started telling me the names of her new friends, how her brother had walked her to her class and that they had a snack-but that she didn't drink her milk (no surprise there). All seemed right in her world. But when we sat down to eat lunch, she looked at me with all the seriousness in the world and said, "Mom, I think I made a big mistake."
"Really? What mistake do you think you made, sweetie,"" I asked.
"I think going to school is a mistake," Elizabeth said sadly.
My heart sank. This was something that couldn't be changed. Did I not know my daughter as well as I thought I did? I knew I had to fix this quickly, so I hesitated for only a second before I asked Elizabeth why she thought going to school was a mistake.
"Mom," she said with a mix of sadness and disappointment, "They didn't teach me to read."
Talk about relief! I almost laughed out loud I was so relieved. But I didn't. This was serious stuff to Elizabeth so it was serious stuff to me, too.
As parents we sometimes have a been-there-done-that kind of attitude. We know that many of the things our children worry about (like not learning to read on the very first day of kindergarten) aren't nearly as 'bad as all that'. But they don't. And to make them feel small or to insinuate their feelings are unimportant or insignificant is NOT a good thing.
Instead of dismissing their feelings as silly or unnecessary, take the time to explain why they don't need to worry and/or how they can (with your help and encouragement) overcome and work through their feelings and concerns.
In Elizabeth's case it took little more than an explanation of how school 'works' and the assurance that she would learn to read when everyone in the class was ready to learn. Well, that and the promise to start teaching her a few more sight words at home.
The world is a great big and somewhat scary place to children. They need to know that their own little piece of it (aka, home) is safe, nurturing, encouraging and a place where they will never be made to feel insignificant and will always be listened to.
Love,
Momma D
Elizabeth was more than ready to start kindergarten-so much so that she was only four when she climbed onto that school bus to enter the world of education. She was bright, articulate and loved to learn. Thankfully, we still had half-day kindergarten because her younger sister and I were more than ready to have her return home to eat lunch with us and tell us all about her first day of school.
She stepped off the bus and immediately started telling me the names of her new friends, how her brother had walked her to her class and that they had a snack-but that she didn't drink her milk (no surprise there). All seemed right in her world. But when we sat down to eat lunch, she looked at me with all the seriousness in the world and said, "Mom, I think I made a big mistake."
"Really? What mistake do you think you made, sweetie,"" I asked.
"I think going to school is a mistake," Elizabeth said sadly.
My heart sank. This was something that couldn't be changed. Did I not know my daughter as well as I thought I did? I knew I had to fix this quickly, so I hesitated for only a second before I asked Elizabeth why she thought going to school was a mistake.
"Mom," she said with a mix of sadness and disappointment, "They didn't teach me to read."
Talk about relief! I almost laughed out loud I was so relieved. But I didn't. This was serious stuff to Elizabeth so it was serious stuff to me, too.
As parents we sometimes have a been-there-done-that kind of attitude. We know that many of the things our children worry about (like not learning to read on the very first day of kindergarten) aren't nearly as 'bad as all that'. But they don't. And to make them feel small or to insinuate their feelings are unimportant or insignificant is NOT a good thing.
Instead of dismissing their feelings as silly or unnecessary, take the time to explain why they don't need to worry and/or how they can (with your help and encouragement) overcome and work through their feelings and concerns.
In Elizabeth's case it took little more than an explanation of how school 'works' and the assurance that she would learn to read when everyone in the class was ready to learn. Well, that and the promise to start teaching her a few more sight words at home.
The world is a great big and somewhat scary place to children. They need to know that their own little piece of it (aka, home) is safe, nurturing, encouraging and a place where they will never be made to feel insignificant and will always be listened to.
Love,
Momma D
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
The Ugly House
One of the high school home-ec classes my kids took was called International Foods. It's pretty much just what it sounds like. And it's lots of fun. So fun, in fact, that the first semester final is comprised of one task...to construct a gingerbread house complete with cut-out doors and windows and whatever edible decorations the student wishes to use. Sounds like tons of fun, right? That's not what my youngest daughter, Emma would say...
Emma is articulate, knows every muscle and bone in the body and writes beautiful poetry. She's a wonderful military wife and soon-to-be momma. But she is not a gingerbread house maker. Even the teacher (who has known Emma since the day she was born) had to admit it just wasn't her 'thing'.
Emma didn't even want to bring the thing home. But school policy (I think it was at the janitors' insistence) stated students could not dispose of them at school. So when I picked her up at school the day she was to bring it home, Emma walked out of the school carrying a trash bag holding her gingerbread creation.
My four year-old granddaughter, Mackenzie, and I both asked to see it. "No", Emma said. It's really bad. REALLY bad. "It's going in the trash dumpster as soon as we get home", Emma insisted.
Mackenzie didn't understand the problem, so persisted in wanting to see what was in the bag until Aunt Emma finally relented. When we got home we all headed for the trash dumpster to view what Emma considered to be a train wreck of a project. When she lifted the bag off the house, all I could say was, "Emma, you're right. That's bad. REALLY bad. Just toss it." And then we both started laughing so hard we got tears in our eyes.
Now before you pronounce me the world's worst mom, you need to hear me out...
If I would have proclaimed the house to be a work of art, I would have been lying and she would have known it. I would have been giving her a false sense of self-esteem.
If I would have told Emma she deserved a better grade than what she got, I would have been lying and she would have known it. I would have been sending her the message that she was being treated unfairly when she wasn't; giving her a false sense of accomplishment.
Parents, we aren't doing our kids any favors when we tell them they are good at something they clearly aren't. And let's face it...no one is good at everything. So instead of lying to your kids and encouraging them to go after something that makes them feel badly about themselves and doesn't give them a sense of satisfaction, help them find those things they DO excel and shine in and then encourage them with everything you've got.
Don't be afraid to tell them their gingerbread house is ugly...as long as you show them each and every day how beautiful you know they are on the inside and help them to know the same.
Love,
Momma D
Emma is articulate, knows every muscle and bone in the body and writes beautiful poetry. She's a wonderful military wife and soon-to-be momma. But she is not a gingerbread house maker. Even the teacher (who has known Emma since the day she was born) had to admit it just wasn't her 'thing'.
Emma didn't even want to bring the thing home. But school policy (I think it was at the janitors' insistence) stated students could not dispose of them at school. So when I picked her up at school the day she was to bring it home, Emma walked out of the school carrying a trash bag holding her gingerbread creation.
My four year-old granddaughter, Mackenzie, and I both asked to see it. "No", Emma said. It's really bad. REALLY bad. "It's going in the trash dumpster as soon as we get home", Emma insisted.
Mackenzie didn't understand the problem, so persisted in wanting to see what was in the bag until Aunt Emma finally relented. When we got home we all headed for the trash dumpster to view what Emma considered to be a train wreck of a project. When she lifted the bag off the house, all I could say was, "Emma, you're right. That's bad. REALLY bad. Just toss it." And then we both started laughing so hard we got tears in our eyes.
Now before you pronounce me the world's worst mom, you need to hear me out...
If I would have proclaimed the house to be a work of art, I would have been lying and she would have known it. I would have been giving her a false sense of self-esteem.
If I would have told Emma she deserved a better grade than what she got, I would have been lying and she would have known it. I would have been sending her the message that she was being treated unfairly when she wasn't; giving her a false sense of accomplishment.
Parents, we aren't doing our kids any favors when we tell them they are good at something they clearly aren't. And let's face it...no one is good at everything. So instead of lying to your kids and encouraging them to go after something that makes them feel badly about themselves and doesn't give them a sense of satisfaction, help them find those things they DO excel and shine in and then encourage them with everything you've got.
Don't be afraid to tell them their gingerbread house is ugly...as long as you show them each and every day how beautiful you know they are on the inside and help them to know the same.
Love,
Momma D
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Bubba, Thanks for Asking...
With four children you can be sure things could get pretty loud and chaotic in our house at times. Believe me, I've heard my share of 'he did...' and 'she did it first...' and 'she took my...' and 'tell him to stop' and...well, you get the picture.
But there were plenty of good times, too; times when it was obvious they would rather be together than anywhere else and times when their love for one another was bigger and louder than any argument they ever had. Thankfully the good times were more plentiful than the not-so-good ones, but one such moment I know I will never forget happened one night when Zach took Emma on a 'date'...
We had spent most of the week showing livestock at the fair. The fair ended on Saturday night. We had taken the animals home and had gotten everything put away when Zach, who was sixteen, asked if he could go back to the demolition derby and if he could take four year-old Emma with him. We agreed, but said they couldn't stay too late. And off they went.
They came home a little after ten. Emma was obviously sleepy and immediately started toward her bedroom. But then she stopped, turned around, came back to Zach and said, "Bubba, thanks for asking me to go with you tonight." And without a moment's hesitation, Zach said, "You're welcome, Emma and thanks for going with me."
My heart just melted. They really did love each other. They still do.
If you have more than one child there are times when everyone in your house isn't getting along. That's just the way it is. Siblings argue. They fight (sometimes physically). Again...that's just the way it is. BUT...as parents we need to teach our children to love one another and to watch out for one another. We have the responsibility to teach our children that siblings are their forever-friends and that no one will ever be able to fill that spot in their heart.
Love,
Momma D
But there were plenty of good times, too; times when it was obvious they would rather be together than anywhere else and times when their love for one another was bigger and louder than any argument they ever had. Thankfully the good times were more plentiful than the not-so-good ones, but one such moment I know I will never forget happened one night when Zach took Emma on a 'date'...
We had spent most of the week showing livestock at the fair. The fair ended on Saturday night. We had taken the animals home and had gotten everything put away when Zach, who was sixteen, asked if he could go back to the demolition derby and if he could take four year-old Emma with him. We agreed, but said they couldn't stay too late. And off they went.
They came home a little after ten. Emma was obviously sleepy and immediately started toward her bedroom. But then she stopped, turned around, came back to Zach and said, "Bubba, thanks for asking me to go with you tonight." And without a moment's hesitation, Zach said, "You're welcome, Emma and thanks for going with me."
My heart just melted. They really did love each other. They still do.
If you have more than one child there are times when everyone in your house isn't getting along. That's just the way it is. Siblings argue. They fight (sometimes physically). Again...that's just the way it is. BUT...as parents we need to teach our children to love one another and to watch out for one another. We have the responsibility to teach our children that siblings are their forever-friends and that no one will ever be able to fill that spot in their heart.
Love,
Momma D
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Once a Mom...Always a Mom
While I was speaking to my daughter, Olivia, on the phone yesterday, my oldest daughter, Elizabeth, was trying to call me, as well. Does that make me a top contender for mom of the year? No. What it makes me is a mom.
After I finished my conversation, I redialed Elizabeth's number to hear the words-
I was thinking of all the times my Granny hurried to my side to be my extra set of hands. I was thinking of the times she snuggled Elizabeth and her siblings when they were sick the same way I would be snuggling with Laney in a few minutes. I thought about all the ways Granny taught me once-a-mom-always-a-mom just by being herself. She couldn't have stopped it if she had wanted to.
I realize that driving across town isn't always an option. Not all of my children live close enough for me to be able to do that. But there are countless ways to be that kind of mom; the kind that is always there when you are needed. Making yourself physically and emotionally accessible doesn't always require a car, but it always requires a heart filled to overflowing with the desire to be your best and do your best for your children.
I hope and pray I am that kind of once-a-mom-always-a-mom. I hope and pray that my daughters see Granny in me and that I can bless their lives the way she blessed mine.
What will you do today to let your children know the job of MOM is one you have no intention of retiring from?
Love,
Momma D
After I finished my conversation, I redialed Elizabeth's number to hear the words-
- Mom, can you help me?
- I need you-can you come?
- Laney is running a fever and needs medicine. I don't want to get her out in the cold.
I was thinking of all the times my Granny hurried to my side to be my extra set of hands. I was thinking of the times she snuggled Elizabeth and her siblings when they were sick the same way I would be snuggling with Laney in a few minutes. I thought about all the ways Granny taught me once-a-mom-always-a-mom just by being herself. She couldn't have stopped it if she had wanted to.
I realize that driving across town isn't always an option. Not all of my children live close enough for me to be able to do that. But there are countless ways to be that kind of mom; the kind that is always there when you are needed. Making yourself physically and emotionally accessible doesn't always require a car, but it always requires a heart filled to overflowing with the desire to be your best and do your best for your children.
I hope and pray I am that kind of once-a-mom-always-a-mom. I hope and pray that my daughters see Granny in me and that I can bless their lives the way she blessed mine.
What will you do today to let your children know the job of MOM is one you have no intention of retiring from?
Love,
Momma D
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Help Wanted...Help Needed
I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the fact that I had my Granny by my side (literally and figuratively) as I experienced each stage of motherhood and even as I entered grandmother-hood. She was there to encourage, warn, share her experiences, be a living, breathing example and to invest herself in my experience and in the lives of my children.
There were times when I thought she worried a bit too much-like every Sunday when the temperature was below 50 and she would check to see if my girls had on undershirts (they usually didn't). But those times paled in comparison to the countless times she made herself available to me physically and emotionally; like the times she... Cared for my family when I was on bed rest for pregnancy complications, read to the kids, sang with the kids and patiently fed my picky eaters, rushed right out when Elizabeth's hens laid their first eggs because Elizabeth wanted Granny to have all 2 of them, was a haven for Zach during cross country practice; providing a cold drink of water. And let's not forget the fact that she came to all the kids' school and church program, was a willing participant in games like beauty shop, patiently allowed two year-old Zach to make icing flowers for a wedding cake (and put them on there), and on and on the list could go.
So why am I sharing these moments with you? I'm sharing these memories because I want to convey to you the importance of joining together with our fellow moms for the purpose of 'show and tell', encouragement and support.
If you are an older mom and/or grandma, be there for the young moms in your family, church family and even possibly your neighborhood. Let them know what they are doing right, that you are there when they need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend or a helping hand. Young moms need this. They crave it, but are sometimes afraid to ask (for fear of being thought a failure)or don't know how to ask.
If you are a young mom living the life of snotty noses, snuggles and hugs, flour paste maps, lost gloves and trips to the ER, pick a mentor or two to help you along your way. Ask one or two women you admire if you can get their advice from time to time, ask them to reassure you that you aren't losing your mind, or if they could possibly come to your rescue from time to time.
While I believe with all my heart that there is no replacement for mom and dad, both you and your children can benefit greatly from having the love and wisdom of an older more experienced mom in your lives. I know I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for my Granny. And my children's lives wouldn't be as rich in love and memories if she had not been such an important role model and constant for them.
Who can be that person for you?
Love,
Momma D
There were times when I thought she worried a bit too much-like every Sunday when the temperature was below 50 and she would check to see if my girls had on undershirts (they usually didn't). But those times paled in comparison to the countless times she made herself available to me physically and emotionally; like the times she... Cared for my family when I was on bed rest for pregnancy complications, read to the kids, sang with the kids and patiently fed my picky eaters, rushed right out when Elizabeth's hens laid their first eggs because Elizabeth wanted Granny to have all 2 of them, was a haven for Zach during cross country practice; providing a cold drink of water. And let's not forget the fact that she came to all the kids' school and church program, was a willing participant in games like beauty shop, patiently allowed two year-old Zach to make icing flowers for a wedding cake (and put them on there), and on and on the list could go.
So why am I sharing these moments with you? I'm sharing these memories because I want to convey to you the importance of joining together with our fellow moms for the purpose of 'show and tell', encouragement and support.
If you are an older mom and/or grandma, be there for the young moms in your family, church family and even possibly your neighborhood. Let them know what they are doing right, that you are there when they need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend or a helping hand. Young moms need this. They crave it, but are sometimes afraid to ask (for fear of being thought a failure)or don't know how to ask.
If you are a young mom living the life of snotty noses, snuggles and hugs, flour paste maps, lost gloves and trips to the ER, pick a mentor or two to help you along your way. Ask one or two women you admire if you can get their advice from time to time, ask them to reassure you that you aren't losing your mind, or if they could possibly come to your rescue from time to time.
While I believe with all my heart that there is no replacement for mom and dad, both you and your children can benefit greatly from having the love and wisdom of an older more experienced mom in your lives. I know I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for my Granny. And my children's lives wouldn't be as rich in love and memories if she had not been such an important role model and constant for them.
Who can be that person for you?
Love,
Momma D
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Hide 'em In Your Heart
You know what they say about once you learn to ride a bike you never forget how...well, the same goes for embedding the word of God in your heart.
When the kids were little we used to listen to this thing called a cassette tape. It was filled with scripture verses put to music by the talented Christian music artist, Steve Green. We sang them all the time. I used them in children's church, as well; even writing an entire musical program built around those spirit-filled songs. Anyway...
As the kids got older we didn't spend nearly as much time singing those songs, but whenever certain things would happen, the kids would start singing one of those songs (appropriate to the situation). That's what happened the day Olivia and a friend had a car accident.
I was in the grocery store when my phone rang. It was Olivia crying and saying she and a friend had been in a car accident on the way home from a school function. She wanted me and she wanted me NOW! I cannot even begin to tell you how my heart ached at that moment, but the logistics of the situation made it impossible for me to be there right now. As I continued to talk to her...trying to calm her down while they were waiting for help to arrive, she asked me to sing the 'when I am afraid' song.
The song Olivia was referring to was the song, "When I am Afraid I will Trust in You"-Psalm 56:3 put to music. We started singing it together which greatly calmed us both down until I could get to her.
That simple little tune filled with words of the psalmist-giving praise and thanks to God-was 'just' a song when she was three. But twelve years later they were the words that brought her comfort and assurance that the trust she was singing about was relevant and true.
The lesson here is that these little, seemingly insignificant things we do with our children aren't so insignificant. As parents it is our job to give them the tools and resources they need to grow and mature in their relationship with God right from the start; making it a part of who they are...hiding them in their hearts.
Love,
Momma D
Thursday, January 16, 2014
It's a Great Day to be Alive
Back in the winter of 2000, Travis Tritt released the hit song, "It's a Great Day to be Alive". It goes something like this...
"It's a great day to be alive; I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes; There's some hard times in the neighborhood; But why can't every day be just this good....
You may or may not remember the song, but I know I will never forget it, and here's why... My youngest daughter, Emma, loved to sing and has always had a knack for picking up the lyrics to every song she hears almost immediately-this song included. Anyway...one day in the summer of 2001, when Emma was five, I told her to get out of the swimming pool and dry off while I started fixing dinner. Emma's mode of drying off was usually the swing set, so off she went. When I looked out the kitchen window, there she was--swinging as high as she could; her long hair trailing behind her. But she wasn't just swinging. She was swinging AND singing at the top of her lungs. And yep, you guessed it...she was singing "It's a Great Day to be Alive" at the top of her lungs.
What made this so incredibly sweet was that Emma wasn't just singing the song...she believed it with her whole heart. I can still hear that little voice and see my little girl wearing a Little Mermaid swimming suit 'flying' through the air. It was one of the most profound moments of my life.
Yes, profound, because she believed with her whole being that it really was a great day to be alive. She was safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. What better affirmation as a parent could there possibly be, right? And in that moment I couldn't have been more thankful that John and I were able to give her that.
As parents our goal should be to make every day a great day for our children to be alive. No, not by giving them everything they think they want and need. No, not by working non-stop to be able to take them on exotic or expensive vacations. No, not by providing them with a house so big you have to look to find one another. As parents our goal should be to make every day a day our children know for sure and for certain that they are safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. Why? Because Momma D says so.
Love,
Momma D
You may or may not remember the song, but I know I will never forget it, and here's why... My youngest daughter, Emma, loved to sing and has always had a knack for picking up the lyrics to every song she hears almost immediately-this song included. Anyway...one day in the summer of 2001, when Emma was five, I told her to get out of the swimming pool and dry off while I started fixing dinner. Emma's mode of drying off was usually the swing set, so off she went. When I looked out the kitchen window, there she was--swinging as high as she could; her long hair trailing behind her. But she wasn't just swinging. She was swinging AND singing at the top of her lungs. And yep, you guessed it...she was singing "It's a Great Day to be Alive" at the top of her lungs.
What made this so incredibly sweet was that Emma wasn't just singing the song...she believed it with her whole heart. I can still hear that little voice and see my little girl wearing a Little Mermaid swimming suit 'flying' through the air. It was one of the most profound moments of my life.
Yes, profound, because she believed with her whole being that it really was a great day to be alive. She was safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. What better affirmation as a parent could there possibly be, right? And in that moment I couldn't have been more thankful that John and I were able to give her that.
As parents our goal should be to make every day a great day for our children to be alive. No, not by giving them everything they think they want and need. No, not by working non-stop to be able to take them on exotic or expensive vacations. No, not by providing them with a house so big you have to look to find one another. As parents our goal should be to make every day a day our children know for sure and for certain that they are safe, happy, loved, secure...everything a child deserves to be. Why? Because Momma D says so.
Love,
Momma D
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
They are Watching...and Listening to YOU!
My daughter, Olivia, called this morning to tell me the latest cute thing Reuben had done. Here is what she had to say...
Reuben, who just turned 13 months old, was sitting in his high chair eating toast for breakfast. The television was on and a commercial came on for (I don't remember what). The commercial ends with a group of people clapping. Rueben, who couldn't see the television, heard the clapping, put his toast down on his tray and began to clap right along with them.
Ahh, isn't that cute. Of course it is! And being the loving nanna that I am, I laughed and agreed that he's one adorable kid. But then I thought about this...
How often do we, as parents, say or do things at home or in public that we think no one sees or hears. Or maybe we intend for others to see and hear them...but not our children.
Hhhmmm...that's not such a pleasant thought, is it? Let's face it, we've all had a few of those do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do moments. But these have to be the exception to the rule...slip-ups that happen on rare occasions because we...well, because we are human.
Our kids are watching and listening to us. Even when they get past that stage of thinking we walk on water, they are listening and watching us. They want someone to look up to...someone to pattern their behaviors after...someone they can emulate. And that someone is you!
Think about it...haven't you seen yourself or heard yourself do or say something your parents did or said?
Your children are looking at you and looking up to you. Give the someone worth watching and listening to. Give them parents who love and serve the Lord and who live a life of honor, integrity and faith 24/7.
Well, what do you think? When have you experienced this with your kids?
Love,
Momma D
Friday, January 3, 2014
Your Terms...Your Turf
One of the most difficult jobs a parent has is to teach their children the difference between choosing the wrong friends and being kind and considerate to everyone-as Jesus calls us to do. Am I right? While we don't want our children to think they are better than someone else or too good to be someone's friend, we have the responsibility to teach them to be discerning in who they spend their time with.
The Bible provides numerous warnings and instructions in this area. The one I'll focus on here, however, is Jesus' time spent eating with the tax collectors and other reprobates of the time. The Pharisees were quick to admonish him, to which he replied that sick people needed a doctor-not those who were well.
I cannot tell you how many times I've heard my kids and kids who I love as if they were my own, try to use this as an excuse for spending time with people and in places they shouldn't. You know what I mean...
"I'll be there to make sure so-and-so doesn't do anything."
"I can go but not drink."
"Just because I hang out with them doesn't mean I am like them."
WRONG! Sure they might be able to pull this off a time or two (or maybe three), but if you spend enough time in the sun you are going to get burned. You are what you eat. Or whatever other saying you wish to insert here....
Jesus didn't hang out with the tax collectors and other sinners to make change for them or to be their sober chauffer. He went to them, told them what he had to offer and why it was so much better than what they had and then told them to follow him. Oh, and then he left. In other words...His terms...His turf.
SO....if your children are forming friendships with children who are lacking in discipline, parental guidance and strong moral and ethical teaching, don't push them out of your child's life. Instead, welcome them into YOURS, as well. Give them a safe place to play. Let them see what a loving, Godly home and life is like. Bring them onto your child's turf and teach them to set the terms of friendship in such a way that your home's expectations and rules will not be compromised. In doing so, you will be teaching your children to be salt and light for Jesus.
The Bible provides numerous warnings and instructions in this area. The one I'll focus on here, however, is Jesus' time spent eating with the tax collectors and other reprobates of the time. The Pharisees were quick to admonish him, to which he replied that sick people needed a doctor-not those who were well.
I cannot tell you how many times I've heard my kids and kids who I love as if they were my own, try to use this as an excuse for spending time with people and in places they shouldn't. You know what I mean...
"I'll be there to make sure so-and-so doesn't do anything."
"I can go but not drink."
"Just because I hang out with them doesn't mean I am like them."
WRONG! Sure they might be able to pull this off a time or two (or maybe three), but if you spend enough time in the sun you are going to get burned. You are what you eat. Or whatever other saying you wish to insert here....
Jesus didn't hang out with the tax collectors and other sinners to make change for them or to be their sober chauffer. He went to them, told them what he had to offer and why it was so much better than what they had and then told them to follow him. Oh, and then he left. In other words...His terms...His turf.
SO....if your children are forming friendships with children who are lacking in discipline, parental guidance and strong moral and ethical teaching, don't push them out of your child's life. Instead, welcome them into YOURS, as well. Give them a safe place to play. Let them see what a loving, Godly home and life is like. Bring them onto your child's turf and teach them to set the terms of friendship in such a way that your home's expectations and rules will not be compromised. In doing so, you will be teaching your children to be salt and light for Jesus.
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