I’m happy to report she made it. And I have to admit on her
thirteenth birthday that we teased her a bit about the fact that she had
already achieved her life’s goal. What was
she going to do with the rest of her life?
I’m also happy to report that it didn’t take long to for
Olivia to realize that life had more to offer her than being a teenager and
that she has grown up to do much more than turn thirteen.
As I think back to Olivia’s life goal, I want to remind every
parent of three lessons they need to learn from my sweet Oliva.
Lesson one: respect your child’s perception of goals and
achievements—even encourage them.
To seven year-old Olivia, turning thirteen seemed far away,
but not so far that it was unreachable. It was also something she viewed as
exciting and almost magical. In her eyes, to be thirteen was to be a mature and
independent. So when you look at it from that perspective, her goal was every
parent’s dream for their child; to be mature and independent.
Lesson two: Your child’s goals for their lives need to be
theirs…not yours.
If your little one
says he or she is going to be the president someday or is going to have a farm
for animals no one wants, who are you to say they won’t? Don’t you think your
child is smart enough or compassionate enough or good enough to accomplish what
they set their hearts and minds to do? Besides, didn’t you make your own
choices?
Lesson three: NEVER dismiss your child’s goals and dreams by
making fun of them or by telling your child they are silly or impossible.
That’s like throwing the anchor out without having the other
end of the rope tied to the boat. Trust me—this is not something you want to
do. Your job as a parent is to instill hope and courage and self-confidence and
the belief that they can do anything they set their mind to.
Someone once said that God gives us dreams a size too big so
we can grow into them. Don’t keep your children from growing. Their goals and
dreams will likely change more times than you can count between now and the
time they leave home. But even if they don’t, your job is to love and build
them up—not deflate them.
So while we did tease Olivia a bit, it was not to make fun
of her or belittler her. Nor did we do so when she was too young to understand
what we were saying and why. She and her siblings knew (and still do) that we
believe they can do anything they set their hearts and minds to do.
The question is…do your children know the same?
Love,
Momma D